Mikayla

For those who don't know, my older step-sister, Andrea, is expecting her third child. A little girl named Mikayla. When Drea went for her 20 week ultrasound about a month ago, the doctor found some concerning things on the ultrasound. Her head is small and she has low amniotic fluid. So, Drea and Chris went for a level 2 ultrasound last week. Unfortuanetly, the results were not very encouraging. They should that she has a brain bleed and that the potential for a brain shift is very high. Her lab tests also showed that she is a carrier for CMV, the leading cause of hydrocephaly, mental retardations, and deafness in children. The genetic testing also shows the she is a carrier for cystic fibrosis, another potential problem for Mikayla. Today, she went for the amniocentesis. It was a cloudy yellow, when it needs to be a clear liquid. This usually indicates anything from an infection to chromosal abnormalities. We won't get the results for at least a week. Please pray for Drea, Chris, Mikayla, and the doctors for wisdom. We are hoping for a miracle, but preparing for the worst.

T.G.I.S

Thank goodness this week is finally coming to an end!! It has truly been one for the books! It started out okay. Sunday was great...Doxa for church, Moes for lunch with Mom and Michael. Then off to the pool for a sun bath. Life was great! I headed to work (sans Joy and Janna--they're in Brasil this week).

Then, Monday night rolled around. I got to work around 6:30, parking in my favorite parking place, and headed on up. To say it was a rough night would be an understatement. No one stopped moving until about 2:30 in the morning. Just as I was getting everything settled in and charting caught up and everything the way it needs to be, I got a phone call. It was Security. Asking if I have a Dodge Stratus and if I parked on the first level. I answered yes to both questions and that's when things got bad. I was informed that I needed to come downstairs immediately, because it appeared that my car had been brokend into. That, my friends, was the understatement of the year. It wasn't broken into, it was smashed beyond recognition into. All 4 of the windows are damaged, the frames above the windows are bent and the hood jimmied open, the paint job completely ruined, and glass everywhere. Not to mention the finger/palm prints and 3 gigantic rocks lying around my car evidence that my car has not been broken into, but vandalized. Such a personal way of putting it.

OPD came and took pictures and fingerprints and the videos of 3 older adolescent black males who smashed rocks into my beautiful car and then walked back out onto Pine Street. With my gorgeous new summer bag. And in that bag was my debit card and check book. I panicked! The first thing I did was call and cancel everything and start praying everything would be alright.

I spent the day calling the insurance company, OPD, the bank, MRMC security, and anyone else who could possibly help me out. The insurance adjustor, Dirk, and the appraisor, Mike, were absolutely the nicest guys ever, and by 11:00 I was on my way back to the hospital to get my car towed to the body shop.

The next day, Wendesday, I got a phone call from the manager of the apartements where I live. She asked me if I had recently lost my purse. When I said yes, she told me that I needed to call a certain city of Ocala engineer, because one of his guys found my stuff. I called the guy and sure enough, everything had been found in vacant lot behind on IHop. Literally across the street from where it had been taken!! The only things missing-- my Clinique lip gloss and my copy of Million Little Pieces. Who breaks into a car, doing $2500 worth of damage to take a book and lip gloss. The problem is that all of my accounts at the bank had already been shut down.

So, that is where I am now. Driving my mom's beater Explorer that is in desperate need of shocks and no way to get paid because my check is stuck in the elctronic magical neverland. I just thank God that no one is hurt and that He is in control of this...

Normally, I can keep my emotions in check while I'm here at work. For some reason, that just won't be tonight. Last night and tonight I took care of a little 88 year old lady named Ada. She is ill with Alzheimers and a sick heart. She so confused and doesn't know where she is and why she's here. So, we're helping her along. Last night she was okay-- in her terms anyway. The medication helped her sleep. Tonight, however, nothing seems to he helping her. She's convinced the guy helping us out tonight is my husband. She's convinced I'm a teenaged boy playing at being a doctor. She's convinced that I'm giving her the wrong medicine and won't take any. She's convinced that the pudding I gave her with her medicine in it is poisoned and won't take it. She's convinced I'm trying to beat up an old woman and am going to hell because of it. So, I called a doctor to ask for help. I got nothing. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I just wanted someone to help me help her! I don't normally get so upset when it doesn't work out the way I want it to, but there is just something about this little lady that has completely pulled at my heartstrings. I finally got what I needed to help her relax. It isn't working so great...the way that so many meds don't. It'll help her relax for a few hours anyways. Long enough for me to be able to get the charting done and bath my other patient. And pray. Because right now, I don't know what else to do for her.

Mother's Day

I am a forgetful klutz. I forgot my camera at home and so, I didn't get any pics of dinner tonight. We met the grandparents, my aunt and uncle and 2 cousins at Olive Garden to celebrate. I had the new grilled shrimp Caprese. It was yummy! Grilled marinated shrimp over linguine with fresh grilled tomatoes. Mom helped me eat it. :-) We as always, had good conversation and caught with everyone. How is it that even though we live in the same city and only minutes from each other that we some how are always a few steps behind on what is going on in each other's lives? Present is always exciting. Jen, Mike, Kent, Drea and I got mom a gift certificate to Face the Day Spa for a massage and a planter with garden stuff in it. She seemed surprise by the certficate. It's always so hard to surprise her with anyting! Grandma got what she loves the most...a gift certificate to the movies. Tomorrow, I'm sure will be spent at the pool. And at the gym. I've got to get my hour of cardio in...

Michael found my camera lodged underneath my carseat! Everything will now be okay!! Little borthes are good for something, other than hauling trash, huh? So...here are some images from the last month. Enjoy!!


Jacksonville at night. Trying to get out of the Beth Conference

Toilet Paper Brides. Always a hit!

The gang...take 1

A beautiful ceremony

The girls minus Ronnie. Aren't we cute?!

Me in a dress and heels... it doesn't happen often!!

Sponge boats

Tarpon Springs Sponge Man.

Our pacing group We were up before dawn..

We did it!!

What I've been up to...

Okay. So, I totally did not realize that it had been so long since I've posted anything!! I kept meaning to do it and show everbody some pictures to go along with it. Well, I'm totally stressng because my camera is MIA after this weekend... if anyone has seen it, let me knw, will ya?

Well, the last weekend in March Joy, Raegan, Stephanie, and Lindsey and I drove up to Jacksonville to see Beth Moore. It was awesome. It was a great opportunity to get to know each other a little better. We learned about apprehending that for which we've been apprehended. It was great fun! We were gone Friday morning into Saturday afternoon. That night was Lindsey's bridal shower. Yet another show of solidarity as we pulled the whole thing off in about a week and a half. We called the guest list to invite them... the joys of quickie weddings.

The next weekend was Lindsey and Jeff's wedding. It was a gorgeaous weekend! It rained cats and dogs ealier in the afternoon, but by the time the ceremony started, it was absolutely perfect. They were married in one of Jeff's cousins horse barns. As you looked through the barn, you could see the horses running in the fields. The breeze picked up to keep everyone cool, and it smelled like flowers everywhere. We had a great time at the reception eating barbecue and mac and cheese and baked beans! We even danced a little!

The next weekend I went with some of the girls from work up to Gainesville to see "Chicago". It was awesome! I'm a huge fan of the story. I own the movie and compare every role that Catherine Zeta Jones is in to her role as Thelma. I also have the soundtrack of the original Broadway production. It's sad when you can sing along to the play... It was neat to see everyone all dressed up in someting other than scrubs! :-)

The next afternoon mom called me and said that she and Dale and Michael were heading to Tarpon Springs. So, I tagged along too. Greek food=YUMMO!!! We went out on the little boat and watched the sponge harvesting. Those guys are so strong! The suits way nearly 150lbs to keep them on the ocean floor.

This past weekend, however, is what I am most proud of. Mom and I ran in the MinnieMarathon weekend 5K race at Epcot. We have been training for about 3 weeks to do this. We were so afraid that the little old men in golf carts were going to come and pick us and take u s to the end. It was an unfounded fear since most didn't finish in under an hour. But we did!!! Mom, the outside runner, finished in 38 minutes, and I, the treadmill runner, finished in 41 minutes.!! I was so proud of us. We've never done anything like this before, so just the shear facet that we finished is enough of an accomplishment to us...

I think that brings everyone up to speed. Sorry for the shear length of this thing, but I've been such a slacker lately. Hopefully my poor little pink camera will resurface somewhere and I'll be able to post the pictures that go along with everything.

Happy Easter, Jordan!!

seriously wishing I'd leave him alone!!

What isn't to love?

Easter Prizes

Easter

Easter weekend was great! Mom and Dale got Josiah on Saturday afternoon and he hung out with us for a while. We went and saw Horton Hears a Who, then we went to Target and just played on the toy aisles. It's been forever since we've done that. He enjoys everything so fully. "look Beffy... Nutant Turtles!" "Mikey look! I'ts Star Wars! Wanna play swords?" He brings the simple joys back into life. After church, I went back to my parents house and we died Easter Eggs. Michael and Josiah built a tent in the living room complete with a campfire (cut out of a piece of cardboard). I wish I had a picture of it, but my camera battery was dead...

Easter in our family started a new tradition...using a scavenger hunt to find your Easter basket. Again, I wish I'd had my camera to show everybody, but it was really pretty fun (in spite of the groans). Then, once the little kids came over there was a massive egg hunt to find a smalll cany store's worth of chocolate. Dinner was delicious, as always. Here are a few pics of Jordan toddling his way through Easter and enduring two aunts who love to hold him and love on him, much to his loathing. He'd rather be down and walking. But, he was the only one who'd even remotely cooperate long enough to get some good pics...

The last 3 Weekends ( a blog in reverse)

The St. John's river as the moon was rising...

Me and my baby sister...

Kilwin's ice cream in St. Augustine...YUMMO!!

Birthday cake for the big kids

Jordan loves Mama's cake!

Have been crazy, insane busy! The weekend of the 7 was the finish up of the birthday weekends. We had Josiah's party at the park and met the rest of the family for dinner at El Toreo to celebrate the winter birthdays--mom, me, Michael, Kent, Kali and Annie. Last weekend, we went to the Lightning game in Tamp with my uncle. I forgot my camera at home, so no pics. Then, on Sunday I drove back to Tampa with Ronnie, Raegan,and Lindsey to see Jeremy Camp and Toby Mac in concert. It was a great show! Toby threw it back to the old days with some DC Talk songs. Talk about middle school memories... Jen is on spring break this week, so we've been in the sun as much as possible. The weather this week is absolutly gorgeous! Monday was Daytona Beach and yesterday we putzed around St. Augustine. We have plans to go back this summer. Tomorrow, I'll probably be at the pool sometime in the afternoon... here's a pictorial recap of the last few weeks...

Josiah's Birthday at Universal Studios

For his fourth birthday, my parents took Josiah to Universal Studios/Islands of adventure for the day. I tagged along for the fun of it. It's the annual Mardi Gras festival as well. We blurps of Gretchen Wilson at the end of the evening. Here are some snapshots ot the day...



He's always had an obsession with goggles...

My goofy brother...

He liked the Man in the Yellow Hat right away!!

It took a few tries, but...

he finally warmed up to George, too

He's so goofy...

Is there someone beind me??

The three of us...

In line to ride Spiderman...his favorite ride of the day

"Gimme some, Baby!!"

A very tired Kiddo...

Adventures in Babysitting

My sister called me this afternoon and asked if I could babysit for the little boys at the last second tonight. I said why not. Especially since I was already on baseball duty out in D(unnellon)-town with Michael. So, mom and I drove hime out there and dropped him off. They were taking my car tonight (I thought I heard some funny noises), so I got to drive my favorite vehicle of all time...the Durango. I feel so powerful behind the wheel. Picked up the big boy and drove home. As we were pulling into the driveway, Drea and Chris pulled in behind us. I wish I had a video camera to record it. It was soooo cute watching Josiah watch Superpets and playing with Jordan in the bathtub. That kid loves to wash his hair! When you pour water over his head he laughs this little belly laugh that will make anyone giggle. It was a good Friday night in... tomorrow is boot camp with some of the girls from work. Then off to the mechanics for new tires and a oil change. Thrilling, huh?

I am at work. It's Wednesday night and there are about 5 other places I would rather be other than where I am right now...make that about a million. Frankly, most of them involve either my bed or a tropical location with either another bed or a hammock. I'm so blessedly tired I can hardly stand it. I ache...all over. My knees, my neck, my eyes, even my ears. I get to work tomorrow night too! I'm grumpy and just want to crawl somewhere and go to sleep and not have to deal with the things I'm dealing with. Denial is my middle name tonight.

What I will be dreaming of this afternoon...
Beaches in the Caribbean
Pina Coladas
Hammocks
Lying in the sand with my friends
Sleeping some more
Buying a fabulous new bag
Getting an awesome new haircut/hairdo
Someone to hug me

I think that summer needs to come soon

A Busy Month

So sorry I haven't posted lately...my computer has been on the fritz. I took it to Best Buy today to get it looked at and I'm assured that it will be all better in about week. "Better than new" is what the cute little Geek Squad guy told me.

The month started with a trip to Savannah (one of my favorite cities ever). We finally got to eat at the Lady & Sons. Although Paula wasn't there (she and the family were on vacation), I did get to meet her nephew, Bubba's son. I'll the picture as soon as I can. New Year's Eve was at Brie and Scott's house. There were about 30 of us who ate until we could't breathe and just had a blast hanging out half of the night!

I went back to work on the 13th and have been working 4 days a week ever since! Makes for some long weeks, but my paycheck sure appreciates it! Everyone at work has been so supportive of everything and the surgery.

Last week started the fabulous birthday celebrations! Mom and Dale took me to Orlando to go shopping for new clothes (none of mine fit anymore! :0). We got lunch at Bahamama Breeze where I had the best grilled Tilapia I've ever had! That evening we went to Winter Jam. Mercy Me, Skillet, Barlow Girl, Mandisa, and Newsong performed. I got my picture with Nate Sallie and the lead singer of Connor's Vine, the punter from the Indianapolis Colts. Again, the picture will go up as soon as I can...

Friday the celebration continued. We went to SKY with about 15 people and had some good food, great wine and awesome company. We felt like VIPs when we were seated in the "PDR"--private dining room. It was one of the best times we've had in a long time! Saturday night Joy and I went to Tampa to see Matchbox 20 in concert. We drove down and ate dinner at Thai Thani in Channelside. We hung out with the Gasparilla crew (like we do every year!). Alanis Morissette opened the show and we both took at trip down memory lane. Matchbox 20 played all of our favorite shows and they played for over 2 hours.

This Friday is another busy weekend...we're going back to Tampa for Michelle's birthday. Then on the 9th is Brie's baby shower and Kent and Kayla's engagement party. I'm tired just thinking about it...

Have a great night!!
t

1 Week

I just got back from the Doctor's office for my one week post-op appointment. The staples came out! Yeah!! My belly now looks less like a mold for a battlefield re-enactment and more like, well...a topographical map. I go back in 4 weeks to get the g-tube out...wish that was a bit sooner...But it's better than having to wait 5 weeks. I guess. I've lost 12 lbs since surgery and 18 lbs since my first appointment way back in August. My shirts are hanging longer and loser and my pants are lose without having to sit down and loosen them first! :-) I guess things are going well so far. I've only had one moment of an emotional breakdown...Monday night in the shower. I just started panicking about the whole financial aspect of being out of work for over a month with holidays and everybodies birthdays coming up, plus the uncomfortableness of not being able to bend over without getting short of breath and light headed because of the g-tube (I was trying to shave my legs at the time). I took some pain medicine had a good cry and went to bed. Everything was better the next day...as it always is.

Tonight is the Chirstmas party for our group. The last chance we have to get everybody together before the holidays are really maddening rushed. This is the first time I'm going to drive since surgery. Should be exciting... Tomorrow night is Kent's pinning ceremony from nursing school and Friday is graduation. My Uncle Doug comes in sometime next week from Milwaukee for Christmas. So much going on and so little time...

Have a great weekend!!

3 Days Later

3 Days later I am still figuring out how all of this works. I'm trying to figure out when I'm full and when I'm not. When I'm hungry (which I think is never) and when I'm not. Trying to get in enough fluids to stay hydrated and enough protein to heal. Trying to figure out when I'm in pain, and just have gas. Which by the way has been most unlady-like. The pain medicine makes me sleepy, but without it, the g-tube in the left side of my stomach hurts. But with it, I can't sleep at night... Just lots of figuring out to do. I never thought in a million years that cottage cheese would taste so good!! It's the only "food" I've had since Tuesday!! Unfortunately, it will be a month or so before I can actually chew... I'm really looking forward to homemade mashed potatoes on Christmas!! I'm anxious to go to the mall, just to get out of the house! I can't stay awake long enough to work, and I can't drive yet, so I've no idea what I'll be doing for the next few weeks. I go on Wendsday to get the staples out, so that will be interesting. Especially if Jennifer, my completely non-medical little sister decides to pass out on me. I already told mom she'll have to take me to get the tube out 'cause I know Jen won't be able to handle that!! Okay...I gotta go start on another bottle of water or tea. I'll try to get some pics of my little Christmas tree up soon. Happy Shopping!!

An Update...

T- 2 days. In 48 hours from now, I will be sitting in a hospital room recovering from surgery. It's such an odd feeling to know that my life will never again be the same. I'm nervous, excited, anxious, and a teeny bit scared. But, I know that this is the right decision for me to make. This is the best thing for me t do for myself. I have to get healthy. I have to get back to where I once was, even further than that. I want to start running again. I ran for a short period of time in high school when I played soccer, I've been thinking that it's time to take it up again. I'd like to find a race to enter this spring. I just gotta find one. So, thanks everyone for you thoughts and prayers already. I really appreciate it!! I'll try to post pics of my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree soon. Seasons Greeting!!!

Yikes!!

Lord Have Mercy!! In less than a week I will be going in for surgery. It's coming oh so fast, I can barely comprehend it. I am ready for this, but am icredibly anxious at the same time. While I understand the science of the whole thing, It's a completly different horse when they're talking about your internal organs!!! Mom and I spend literally all day long at the doctor's office- we got there a little before 9:00 and left there around 1:30, then we headed to the hospital for the pre-op stuff. My hands have been shaking all day long. I am totally on information overload. Lord have mercy...

There is so much I have to do...cleaning my apartment, cleaning my car, picking up a few things I need for the overnight hospital stay and the one week stay at Hacienda Mamma's, arranging for the sick time from work, helping mom get the house ready for the holidays and ready for me to come, laundry enough to make me sigh.

And that is what I keep doing... sighing... It seems to be the only way I can keep my head clear right now. I sighed my way through work this week (I'm sure I'll do more of it during the weekend!), sighed my way through the doctor's today and throughout the night whenever I think about what it is I'm about to do myselft...

Then. Then, I think about what is to come. Losing the weight that I have literally been caring around my entire life. Freedom from food. A second chance to have the life I want. A reset button on all of the horrible habits I've picked up on over a lifetime... I'm looking forward to the after. :-) I'm lookin forward to my birthday in January. Mom has already promised me a shopping trip!!!I'm looking forward to being able to

buy cute clothes. And getting noticed by guys...

Below are some of the worst pictures I could find of myself...I'll try to get some more up soon...

It's been so long since I've posted anything! I didn't realize how long it had been! Life has been steady...Moving at the same hectic speed that it usually does. I realized today how late in the year we really are when I bought Christmas placemats and napkins. The fall is in full force. I've opened my windows and wore sweaters the last couple of days. Michael has a double header football game this weekend and I'm really looking forward to a fall afternoon at the football field. Seems almost idealic for sunny Florida. Other than just the usual, not a whole lot has been going on. When it does happen, I almost always forget my camera! :-)

What is about to change is pretty stinkin' big. Over the summer I was considering taking a travel assingment down in south Florida. But, my family, espcially mom, asked me to get healthy before I took on such a big undertaking. So, I started looking into what that meant for me. I ended up at a surgeon's office talking about lap banding as a means to lose weight. What they told me was not at all what I was expecting. They felt that the lap band procedure would not give me the effects I need for the risks involved in the surgery. Instead, the recommened that I have gastric bypass. To say I was shocked was an understatement! I went home and talked about it with my family and a few close friends and did a lot of praying and considering. When I decided that this is, indeed, what I want and need to do, I submitted a claim to the insurance company. About 6 weeks later, we heard back and things are now moving very quickly. I've seen a psychologist, had my gall bladder ultra-sounded, seen a nutritionist and tomorrow, I go for blood work. On Thursday, November 29 I go for pre-op day. Then on Wednesday, December 5 I go in for surgery.

I'm nervous about the surgery and I'm nervous about my own abilities to have the self-control to do this, but I am confident in Dr. Jawad, and I am confident that with lots of help I can do this. The fun part will be seeing my clothes getting too big and seeing the physical changes in my body. I am looking forward to going to Brazil this summer (God willing) and experiencing it without getting short of breath running across the airports and being able to be more mobile. I will try to post some pictures every couple of weeks so that ya'll can see the changes. I ask that ya'll keep me in you prayers for the next several months as I recover and adjust to this new lifestyle...

Happy Fall!!!

Brothers and Sisters

A friend of mine made the mistake of telling me that you can watch full length episodes on ABC.com. I finished watching all of the Grey's Anatomy episodes. And, then, I found a new show-- Brothers and Sisters. All that I knew about it was that Sally Fields and Calista Flockhart are in it. What I wasn't expecting was to fall in love with the Walker family and all of their idiosyncrasies. Sally Fields is the mother of a large brood of kids who is dealing with her husband's death and with it the death of her idyllic life as she discovers that her family isn't necessarily who she thought he was. What they also discover along the way is how much they love each other and depend on each other.

What I see when I watch the show is the ever changing dynamics in my own family. I am a daughter, a sister, a stepsister, a stepdaughter, a confidant, a best friend. I have a different connection with ever person in my family and they have a different connection with each other, too. My relationship is different than the one that my brothers have with her. But what is important, is that they have a relationship with each other. We are connected in ways that we never thought possible about 7 years ago. While none of us are homosexual or drug addicts or even marrying senators, we do have our own dramas. We have needed to support each other more than ever in the last year than we ever really had to in the past. And yet, this has put us in this amazing place. We are all closer than we ever were before. I look forward to going work on Sundays and Mondays, because I know that Kent will be there. I know that he will be there to protect me in a difficult situation. I know that Jen is my best friend in the whole world. She is the one person I would call if I ever got engaged to Rob Lowe. Michael is my kid brother who makes my car stink like smelly boy and grass and sweat. And yet, my heart overflows with joy every time he gets into my front seat after he finishes a game. I love that we have a "growing up" relationship where we talk about music and books and current events. I love and adore the fact that my relationship with my 3 close siblings is ever changing. I love that I have an older stepsister who has blessed our family with two of the most gorgeous boys in the whole universe. I love that we pick on each other and drive each other mad. Rachel Griffiths, one of the stars of Brothers and Sisters talked about how wonderful it is to be picked on by those that you love to know that you are loved.

And so, my brothers and sister...in the face of whatever challenges we may face in the years and decades to come I have only this to say. I look forward to those challenges, because I know that I face them with ya'll--some of the most important people in the world to me.

A Thought...

" In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways."

Edith Wharton, A Backward Glance