Changes

Some of the latest posts have been my journals. I hope that ya'll have enjoyed reading them. This is the last of the 3 that I wanted to post. Hopefully, I'll be able to give you more details later this week... Beth

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy. But, when times are bad, consider God has made one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

I recently read an article on www.radiantmag.com about Joy Williams, a popular and relevant recording artist in the pop Christian music arena. Joy has been successful in many ways; professionally, personally, and in her walk with God. And yet, she describes how she feels that God is calling her to leave the comforts of a solo career, something she's been pursuing for several years now, and pursue something else. Her question is what next?

My sister's friends are leaving for colleges around the state. She is faced with one of the first real coming-of-age dilemmas, what next?

Two ministries that I have been involved with are moving the nights that they meet, making it nearly impossible for me to participate in them. My question is... what next?

My mother has always told my sister and me, and now our brother, that life is all about changes: changes in friends, class-mates, and teachers. For us, where we lived; what church we attended; what state we lived in changed frequently, but I am a home-body. I love routine and enjoy knowing that the routine from last week will basically be the same next week. Change is hard for me, but I'm learning more and more as I get older that change is constant. I can't control very many things. I can't control the fact that Ruby Tuesday's took the mashed cauliflower off the menu. I can't control the fact that my friends and I are having a difficult time hanging out because they are getting married, or seriously dating. My sister can't control that her friends are leaving. She can't necessarily control that she too will be leaving in a few years to go to college. Joy Williams can't control those desires and stirrings that God has instilled in her for the future.

What we can change is how we respond to the changes God brings to us. This, for me, is the hard part. Instead of lamenting over how hard it's all going to be, how the world is out to get us, and nobody understands us, we can change our outlooks, God gives us the bad days and the good days; He created them both. As difficult as it may seem, they are both gifts from Him. One of my favorite verses is John 3:17-- God didn’t come to the world, to condemn it, but to save it!! He wouldn't do anything to hurt us or to make us unnecessarily miserable.

We, as Christ followers can take comfort in knowing that if we continue to seek Him, even in the hard times, that we will continue to find Him. Whether that is in a new ministry, a new town, or even in a new venture, these are our rewards! Riches beyond anything we can ever imagine—a closer, more personal walk with our Savior.

Rock-em-Sock-em Robots

So, I'm a nurse. I enjoy what I do. I work long hours- at night- give everything I have to my patients while I'm at work, but attempt to forget them as soon as I walk out the door (for my psychiatric health), and then do the same thing all over again the next week. Well, I had a patient this week that I won't forget for a while. Neither will the workerman's comp people.

This gentleman had surgery about a week ago. He hadn't slept since then. The problem was that he hasn't REALLY slept for any amount of time for about a year and a half, according to his daughter. Being the wholistic healthcare provider that I am, decided my goal for Sunday night was to get this guy to sleep the night through if it killed me. I gave him a medicine that should have helped him sleep alot, since I couldn't give him the pain medicine (it was making him confused).

Instead, a half an hour later, he swearing at me, cursing me, trying to get out of bed with all the paraphanalia still attached to him, and just being beligerent. That one bit me in the booty. So, I call the doctor. She gives me yet another medicine to get him to calm down enough to let the first on take some kind of effect. It didn't work either.

So, I get the doctor on the phone again, get the guy up the chair in the meantime. Well, he's tall- about 6'3"- towering over me!! While we're (me and about 3 other nurses plus the male nurse intern)moving him, he tries to shove me down. He was trying hard, too!! So, we set him down in the chair, are tying the restraints back on when the doctor calls back. I'm attempting to talk to her, make sure he doesn't try to get up, and not dislodge his catheter all at the same time-- something I normally do.

I'm describing this man's mood and agitation level to her "he is becoming increasingly agitated, combative (note: he's aiming at something), and beligerent..." pow!!! He punched me right in the jaw where the phone was up against my face! I couldn't think of anything except for a loud, probably exaggerated gasp!! The doctor heard the commotion, and gave me something that finally worked... thank goodness!!

All I could think of was that game that my brothers and sister got for Christmas when they were younger-- Rock-em-Sock-em Robots. That was the motion he took as he swung at me. I spent about a half an hour in our emergency room getting checked out. Then another hour or so the next morning filling out workman's comp paperwork (again), and taking the obligatory drug testing.

I wonder if I was the red robot or the blue?

Captivating

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart”—Jeremiah 29:13
Hosea chapters 1 and 2

I am currently reading a book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. It is a book that affirms to us women, that we are, indeed, the spitting image of God. We hold in our hearts traits that are in His heart. We long to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure, and to have our beauty unveiled by a great man. We are relational to our very cores. We, as women, desire to be discovered; the way a new haunt is discovered, the way a book is discovered—carefully and over time. This is probably why men say we are a mystery. I am learning so much about myself, my friends and my God!

What I already knew (and have known for a while), is that I long with my entire heart to be pursued by a godly man someone who fears God with his entire heart; a man that I will be able to go into ministry with, a man who loves me with all of his might—but whose love for me will never eclipse his love for our Maker. I have been hoping and dreaming of this boy/guy/man since I was a girl. (My first crushes as an adolescent held many of the superficial qualities that I would seek.) As I am getting older, my friends are getting married and settling down. I have used their relationships as guide posts for what my future mate would look like, persistent, strong, unwavering, patient, etcetera. I want him to pursue me the way Hosea pursued Gomer, relentlessly and with God’s blessings.

What I learned the other day in Captivating, is that the Trinity is a mystery, in much the same way that we women are a mystery. God desires to be known and appreciated with a deeper level of wonderment. He longs and desires for me to pursue after Him in the same way that I long and desire to be pursued by a man. I have to take the time, and energy, and the risk of getting to know Him better. It has to be purposeful. Something that is intentional; much in the same way that you take the time to get to know a date, a family member, or even a friend. Hosea took the time and risk to pursue Gomer. My dad took the time and risk to purse my mom. Some of my friends are in the midst of this adventure now. Why, then, is it such a foreign concept for me to pursue God? To search for His heart? To allow Him to unveil the qualities that lie beneath the surface of my heart?

Take the risk with me—and let’s see what this wonderful journey will reveal to us.

Late Summer in Florida

Last weekend was the quintessential weekend for the waning days of summer in Florida. It started on Thursday when Joy and I met for our weekly date-- lunch at Moe's and a matinee. Friday was busy--oil change, running errands with Chelle for lunch, then the eye doctor. All those times I told my mom I was going blind, I wasn't that far off-- I have an astigmatism and apparently had ambliopia as a child,but we never caught it. Then, ONE! that night and splitting time between Brie and the boys at Zaxby's and Joy and Jason along with the girls at Ruby Tuesdays.

Saturday, I got up at an unbelievably early hour to go tubing down the Ichutuknee River. We tubed it twice-- the good news- nobody got burned. The bad- I still can't move my upper body the way I should be able to. :-) Apparently there should be different sized tubes for different sized torsos. I require an extra small. So, once again I alone made the trip memorable for the near misses between me and the logs, and the tubes. We picniced in the parking lot and took mini-naps in the tubes--FUN!! That night we all grilled steaks at Joy's and ate till we were completely stuffed.

Sunday I slept in --a little bit (yeah!). Then, we went swimming with Siah in the pool. It was hot and muggy and wonderful! It reminded me of why I love Florida so much, and why I live here!! I was and am contented and happy. Today, school started back. Jen is a senior, Michael is in the 7th grade. I feel old, but at the same time I'm as happy as a kid!

Wednesday the girls are coming over for Girl's Night, and I'm cooking dinner-- Spaghetti and salads and bread. Hope this weekend is just as much fun!