Normally, I can keep my emotions in check while I'm here at work. For some reason, that just won't be tonight. Last night and tonight I took care of a little 88 year old lady named Ada. She is ill with Alzheimers and a sick heart. She so confused and doesn't know where she is and why she's here. So, we're helping her along. Last night she was okay-- in her terms anyway. The medication helped her sleep. Tonight, however, nothing seems to he helping her. She's convinced the guy helping us out tonight is my husband. She's convinced I'm a teenaged boy playing at being a doctor. She's convinced that I'm giving her the wrong medicine and won't take any. She's convinced that the pudding I gave her with her medicine in it is poisoned and won't take it. She's convinced I'm trying to beat up an old woman and am going to hell because of it. So, I called a doctor to ask for help. I got nothing. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I just wanted someone to help me help her! I don't normally get so upset when it doesn't work out the way I want it to, but there is just something about this little lady that has completely pulled at my heartstrings. I finally got what I needed to help her relax. It isn't working so great...the way that so many meds don't. It'll help her relax for a few hours anyways. Long enough for me to be able to get the charting done and bath my other patient. And pray. Because right now, I don't know what else to do for her.