Yikes!!

Lord Have Mercy!! In less than a week I will be going in for surgery. It's coming oh so fast, I can barely comprehend it. I am ready for this, but am icredibly anxious at the same time. While I understand the science of the whole thing, It's a completly different horse when they're talking about your internal organs!!! Mom and I spend literally all day long at the doctor's office- we got there a little before 9:00 and left there around 1:30, then we headed to the hospital for the pre-op stuff. My hands have been shaking all day long. I am totally on information overload. Lord have mercy...

There is so much I have to do...cleaning my apartment, cleaning my car, picking up a few things I need for the overnight hospital stay and the one week stay at Hacienda Mamma's, arranging for the sick time from work, helping mom get the house ready for the holidays and ready for me to come, laundry enough to make me sigh.

And that is what I keep doing... sighing... It seems to be the only way I can keep my head clear right now. I sighed my way through work this week (I'm sure I'll do more of it during the weekend!), sighed my way through the doctor's today and throughout the night whenever I think about what it is I'm about to do myselft...

Then. Then, I think about what is to come. Losing the weight that I have literally been caring around my entire life. Freedom from food. A second chance to have the life I want. A reset button on all of the horrible habits I've picked up on over a lifetime... I'm looking forward to the after. :-) I'm lookin forward to my birthday in January. Mom has already promised me a shopping trip!!!I'm looking forward to being able to

buy cute clothes. And getting noticed by guys...

Below are some of the worst pictures I could find of myself...I'll try to get some more up soon...

It's been so long since I've posted anything! I didn't realize how long it had been! Life has been steady...Moving at the same hectic speed that it usually does. I realized today how late in the year we really are when I bought Christmas placemats and napkins. The fall is in full force. I've opened my windows and wore sweaters the last couple of days. Michael has a double header football game this weekend and I'm really looking forward to a fall afternoon at the football field. Seems almost idealic for sunny Florida. Other than just the usual, not a whole lot has been going on. When it does happen, I almost always forget my camera! :-)

What is about to change is pretty stinkin' big. Over the summer I was considering taking a travel assingment down in south Florida. But, my family, espcially mom, asked me to get healthy before I took on such a big undertaking. So, I started looking into what that meant for me. I ended up at a surgeon's office talking about lap banding as a means to lose weight. What they told me was not at all what I was expecting. They felt that the lap band procedure would not give me the effects I need for the risks involved in the surgery. Instead, the recommened that I have gastric bypass. To say I was shocked was an understatement! I went home and talked about it with my family and a few close friends and did a lot of praying and considering. When I decided that this is, indeed, what I want and need to do, I submitted a claim to the insurance company. About 6 weeks later, we heard back and things are now moving very quickly. I've seen a psychologist, had my gall bladder ultra-sounded, seen a nutritionist and tomorrow, I go for blood work. On Thursday, November 29 I go for pre-op day. Then on Wednesday, December 5 I go in for surgery.

I'm nervous about the surgery and I'm nervous about my own abilities to have the self-control to do this, but I am confident in Dr. Jawad, and I am confident that with lots of help I can do this. The fun part will be seeing my clothes getting too big and seeing the physical changes in my body. I am looking forward to going to Brazil this summer (God willing) and experiencing it without getting short of breath running across the airports and being able to be more mobile. I will try to post some pictures every couple of weeks so that ya'll can see the changes. I ask that ya'll keep me in you prayers for the next several months as I recover and adjust to this new lifestyle...

Happy Fall!!!