The Ultimate April Fool's

So, last Saturday, we started the trek back home. What we didn't know was how much of a journey it would, indeed be!!

Our plane was scheduled to leave from Florianopolis at 1630 (4:30) on Saturday afternoon. So, we got up early, did some last minute shopping and went sight seeing in the afternoon. We got to the airport right around 1430 (2:30). The first hurdle was when the lady at the ticket counter told me my tickets were cancelled. Not good. Steve was standing behind me and took over with Ron Greenwich, the missionary we were staying with. Apparently, our little unscheduled stop in Campos messed everything up...for everyone! So, that go settled and figured out. Then began the wait for the plane. About 3:30, we got word that the plane wasn't coming at 1630, but at 1830...two hours late!! So, we pulled out the iPods, books, laptops and traveling pillows to settle in for a long wait. At 1730, it got changed again to 1930. Another hour of waiting!! Yeah!!! So, we pulled out the second books and the iPod chargers and changed positions. Well, at 1900, the time got changed again to 2000 (8:00 pm). We finally took off about 2045. We were delayed yet again because they were having difficulty closing a cargo door. I felt every rivet turn and them turning every wrench...I was in the back row!! All of this should have been a good indicator to us of what exactly was going to happen.

We finally made it Sao Paulo, after we circled for another half hour. We landed in the industrial section of the airport and were bussed past the Fed-Ex airports to the international wing. Good grief. The Youngs and I rushed past the customs and left the rest of our group to run to the American Airlines terminal, hoping we could make our ridiculously delayed flight. We got there just as it was taking off...but it wasn't our plane anyways. It had left two hours earlier on time...

So, we started camping out again, completely oblivious to the fate of the rest our group. I called my parents here in the states, after a week and a half of not hearing from them. I got a little emotional at this point. I wanted to do nothing but cry. That isn't an option, though. We finally found someone that works for the airport at the international connection counter. They told us to stay put and someone would be with us and the growing crowd shortly. About two hours and a nap later, they came back. They called our names and told us to wait about 50 feet from where I was lying down. My hopes were raised that this is it...we're going home now! No such luck...we were taken down to baggage claim and instructed to get our bags.

Down there, we all found our bags. And discovered we weren't the only Americans. We met up with a group of very...vocal women from New York on vacation in I think Argentina. There were also 3 Army Reserve guards who had been on assignemnt in Salvador--they didn't even have Brazilian visas!! We were then taken upstairs to the TAM counter (the Brazilian international airline) and were told that we would be given vouchers to go to hotels and get dinner as well as vouchers for taxis. At this point its about 3:00 in the morning. It was at this point we realized...it's Aprils Fools!! Then, we were told that TAM wouldn't be furnishing our vouchers because technically, we wer on an American Airlines flight, so they would be responsible. Sheesh!! So, we stood in the American Airlines line and realized that everyone was being told a different story, and was getting different information. The joys of international traveling... The army guys were given guaranteed flights out (together) two days later and put up in the equivalent of the Swan hotel at Disney. We were told there were no available confirmed flights for over a week and the only way out was to take standby flights... we took what we could and went to find a taxi to take us to the hotel. We promised to meet Victoria, our new traveling buddy there.

We pulled up to the Novotel at about 4:30 in the morning. It was all lit up and there were bellhops waiting on us at the door. We felt like we had died and gone to heaven! There were fresh beds waiting on us and breakfast would be ready in an hour. Glorious!!! We were taken upstairs and shown into our rooms. Feather pillows and the best shower I've taken in a long time were waiting on us. While Joy showered, I went scavaging for food...in my pajamas. We ate breakfast and crashed. For a few hours. It was so difficult to sleep...kids runnig up and down the hallways, the anxiety of not know what was going on next. Around 1:00 we gave up and got up. We both another shower and went exploring. I was attempting to call my parents again, when we got a phone stating that we had 10 minutes to get out, or we'd have to pay for a half day's use of the room. We ran to get Steve and Janna (Joy's parents) who were leisurly relaxing in the pool, unaware of the time limit we had. We hurriedly checked out and waited on Victoria as she checked out. Then wen to the dining room to eat dinner. But, wait sorry! You've checked out. You can't use your voucher... Thanks Tam!!!

So, we did the only thing we could do. Went back to the airport-home away from home. We got there and learned that most international airlines are mobile!! Where American had been the night before, is South African airlines. American doesn't come until 5:30 in the afternoon! Yeah. So, Joy and I went exploring...again. We found Pizza Hut and ordered pizza and paid too much for drinks. And, we found the rest of our group! They were even worse off than we were. Flying Delta, they hadn't even been given vouchers and were paying for everything themselves. Because, Delta isn't operated by TAM, therefore there is no obligation to help them out. They were attempting to get out via United, but nothing was guaranteed. By 6:00 they had left to go back to the hotel. So, we stood in a line with about 500 people waiting to see what our fate would be. We got our names put on a list and told to wait to the left of the counter. On the ground. No chairs. Right where the baggage carts are taken back out, so watch any appnendages you want to keep!

Nothing was available on the 8:30 flight, so we sat some more. At 9:00, my name was called!! I got the last availble seat on the second flight out to Miami... Hallelujah! There were angels singing with me!! It was 9:06, and had to get on American Airlines flight 906 in twenty minutes. There was still 2 security stops and customs and airlines to get through. Plus a long run down the terminal. The gate was in the very back of the terminal. This was going to be fun! I took off running. I was a little bit rude to the people in line with me, whispering "vamanos, vamnanos" under my breath. "I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, why should you? Just walk!!" Then, here comes the American Airlines guy...my savior out of this line!! He rushed me through security, and customs and gave me one piece of advice...run!!!!!!!!! And run, I did. Like I haven't done in long time. With two carry ons flailing behind me and my passport, tickets, boarding pass and customs declarations in my hand. Praying that no elderly people would bust out in front of me in those little motorized scooter thingies. Success!! I got to the gate with no hesitations or difficulties. The little guy even told me that I hadn't needed to run so fast...they weren't going anywhere without me!!

I got on the plane and was informed by another passenger that my seat was changed so the he could sit by his wife. Uug. So, I walked back up the aisle and across in front of the big screen and back down again. I sat down next to the ever primping wife and took a deep breath. I was going home!!! I watched Miss Potter and ate dinner, only the 3rd meal I'd had in nearly two days, and listened to Josh Groban and slept as best as I could on a plane.

We landed in Miami at 5:30 in the morning on Monday. I got a phone call from Joy saying they were an hour behind, me and should be on the connection with me. So, I drank a real diet Coke and pulled out the book...again. Then, I got another phone call...the Youngs had gotten stuck in customs and weren't going to be able to make the connecting flight. :-( I was on my own again...

I got on the plane to Tampa. I was seated next to a mom and her little boy flying from Miami to Tampa, headed to vacation with her family. It was fun to see flying through the eyes of a little kid, again. I read more Jodi Piccoult and noticed the 3 empty seats a row ahead of me. We landed in Tampa a mere 45 minutes later. We disembarked and I waited the hour it was taking my mom to finish the drive from Ocala to Tampa. And was oh so happy to be in the States again.

Joy and her family made it a few hours later and Joy was back in her condo by 4:30. The rest of the group didn't make it back to Alabama until late Tuesday afternoon. As Laura Ingalls-Wilder would say... Alls well, that ends well...

Not a Manic Monday...

Today was the first day that we spent at the clinic. We loaded up early (about 7:30) to head to the neighborhood were working in. As we pulled through the barrio there were houses surrounded by garbage, sewer, old cars, and much more debris. In a different situation, I would call them oasis of hope, but the homes didnt provide that. They are old, dilapidated and in many circumstances not much more than one slighly wider room.

We pulled up to the complex where the pastor of the local church, Pastor Humberto, has been working for the last few years, we were greeted by people anxiously awaiting our arrival. The sick were waiting inside filling out fischias--sort of like triage forms in the ED--and children were awaiting the rest of the group for Bible school. We worked throughout the morning and then sto0pped for lunch. Pastor Humbertos church (where I went to church last night) had fixed us lunch. It was a traditional Brazilian spread-- black beans and rice, shredded chicken casserole, boiled potatoes and cuattas (sort of like hush puppies). We had Guanrana and Coka liche to drink and the best fresh bananas Ive ever had.

The afternoon was more of the morning. We saw a total of 93 people today, and dispensed drugs to 135 (dont ask about the math).This is nearly 3 times what the group saw on the first day last year. Keep praying for us and for those that were going to encounter. Part of the medical counseling is that we educate them about their physical health, but also their spritual health. There were several who werethis close to making a decision today...please pray for them.

Tonight, we went to a local mall and got dinner. I had a pasticia (please dont ask me to pronounce it..it wont work!!). Then guess what? More shopping!! Im off to bed. Lots more work awaits us tomorrow.

Ciao

Days One and Two

First...its wierd to see my blog site in Portuguese...good thing I know it well!!! Days one and two were spent in various airports-Tampa to Miami. Miami to Cámpos (unscheduled--yee haw), Campos to Sao Paulo. Sao Paulo to Florianopolis. The fog was so bad on Saturday morning that the Sao Paulo airport was closed...so we almost missed the flight from Sao Paulo to Florianopolis. We said lots of prayers to get here and to get all or our luggage here together. As did the Alabama groups luggage and the thousands of dollars of medicine that they brought!

Last night we ate at an open air restaurant. We had rice adn chicken and stead and fried shrimp. Everything comes with salad and rice. Yummy!! Guaranara and Coca Liche were spread all around. It reminded me of the dinners in the Bible or in the glory days of the South when everyone would sit around and just pass the food and enjoy the fellowship.

We shopped until we dropped today! We also squeezed in the beach--always great fun!! We ate at a seafood restuarant on the beach and went to dune surfing. Its like snowboarding, but with sand instead of snow. Tonight is church at Ron and Alanas churches. Steve and one of the boys are preaching. Im excited to experience this, definetly somehthing new! Afterwards, were getting dinner at a pizza place. Who new that that pizza was so popular in Brazil, but its everywhere!!!

Im excited for tomorrow when we start work at the clinic. This is what Ive been looking forward to. Lots of hard work, but very fulfilling.

Ciao!

AAAGGGGHHH

In a little over 24 hours, we will be leaving. I have no idea how I'm going to get everyting done and still remain a sane, competent,productive person and be ready for this trip! I still have to pack ( I hate packing for stuff like this), do laundry, finish cleaning my apartment, and run various errands (going to the bank, finish picking up little things I need, etc.). But not neccessarily in that order. What I did think to do-- make an appointment for a pedicure this afternoon!! Hopefully I'll feel a little bit better after soaking my feet for an hour or so.

The frustrations...I bought a portable power pack for my iPod. Only it's the plug-into-the-wall type and not the operate-on-battery type. Have to return that. I have to haul my big, heavy, packed suitcase into a grocery store tonight to weigh it. The weght limit is only 70 lbs. I have that much stuff in the medical supplies we're taking. I'm tired already ! ;-)

Enough complaining! I gotta get busy. More to come tomorrow!

So Much to Say...So Little Time to Say It

This month has flown by! I honestly don't know how I've gone a month and not updated...Yeah, actually I do. I've been working and life has been happening. Three birthdays and many overtime shifts and not nearly enough sleep, here we are. Life has been good. I bought an iPod (about stinking time!), and I'm thinking about packing for my trip ( I leave on Friday!!!!). I started working at an Emergency Room near my parent's house...that is interesting. Never a slow moment there! There are so many stories that I wish I had a few more minutes a day to write so I could share them with everybody.

I'm Tminus 3 days before I leave, and I'm determined to keep everyone updated. Pictures will come once I get home. Then anxiety and excitement are building. I'm happy...

The Perfect Valentines Day

As a perpetually single gal, Valentine's Day is not traditionally, my favorite holiday, for I think some pretty obvious reasons. This year, however, I got revenge for myself.

I met Jennifer, and her friend, Laur, at Taco Bell for lunch. We sneaked it into the theatre and watched Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. The film is hilarious!! We laughed like crazy. "Pop! Goes my heart". You gotta see the movie to get it. Then off to Wal-Mart to buy my own Valentine's Day present-- a shiny new camera. It's 7.2 mp and PINK! How cool is that?!?! Dinner was at Ronnie's house with Ann, Raegan, and Kara. We had a glass of wine and played cards and "either... or..." and dished about boys and what we hope for one day. It was officially dubbed Singles Awareness Night. Girls will be girls! Kara has the pics, but hopefully I can get some up here soon!!

Love

Last Wednesday, I got up at an unbelievably early hour-- 5:30. But, it was for a good cause. I spent the day in Lady Lake helping with storm relief. We spent about 8 hours hauling trees from one very disorganized pile where they fell to a only slightly less disorganized pile where they waited for the county to come and haul it off to be destroyed. It was hard, backbreaking work. I was the dirtiest that I had been in a very long time. I had dirt in places that hadn't seen dirt since I was a kid-- like in my ears and between my toes. We helped a lady named Cathy clear out the pasture where she keeps her ponies and to clear the area where her chickens roam, and we did a primitive fix on the fence line. She couldn't seem to thank us enough.

Neither could the second house we went to. They raise birds--parakeets and parrots, I think. We picked up trash inthe yard and they guys put tarps on the roof. We the other crew got there we started cutting up trees again, so they could be burned off. This couple was just completely overwhelmed. They tried to pay us in some way. He ended up giving some of us leather gloves to continue on in our relief efforts.

The truth is they paid us. The community paid us by fixing us lunch at a local church. They paid us by allowing us to come and help them. They paid us by allowing us to be the Body of the Church and doing what God commanded us to do. The price of the sore backs and arms and blisters on toes were completely worth it, though. Especially when we heard that an elderly couple we had been working with gave up their vacation to come help with the clean up. Or, when we heard that the Chainsaw guy-- a blacksmith who had driven down from Minnesota to sharpen the relief efforts chainsaws-- led one of the homeowners to Christ!

It sounds cheesy, but I've been thinking about it all week. This is what we, as Christ-followers, are commanded to do. It felt good to do something for someone else, and to push myself out of my comfort zone for a day. In a song on his new C.D., John Mayer has a line where he says that one day the love he's given will be returned to him. I hope that we helped do that for someone on that day.

24

I turned 24 a little over a week ago. This one is playing with my head. While it isn't normally a "milestone" like 25 or 30, it's big for me. You see, I'm the same age my parents were when they had me. I am officially in my mid-20's. I can no longer pretend to be a "young" adult. I am the real deal--lacking only a mortgage and a marriage! But, at the same time, it's a great place to be. I am independent; I have a great job, and make good money; I have a group of friends around me that care about me and a whole new batch of friends that I'm getting to know better. I am getting to live the life my parents never got to live. It's a strange feeling.

So, I decided for the glorious event, something big must be done. So, Joy and I bought tickets to see John Mayer in November and I began planning. Then, life happened. Some of my friends experienced tragedy in their lives and were unable to be with me. Others are in the middle of huge life changes. So, it was a small group that ventured down to Ybor City to eat at The Dish--one of my all time favorite restaurants. We got there...but there was no Dish!!! Atrocity of all atrocities!! We had to settle for the Spaghetti Warehouse. While it was good--just not the same experience.

The next week, Dale was in the hospital. Needless to say, we were not in a very festive mood. But, mom took me and Jen and Michael, and Kent out to dinner Outback. It was good to be able to laugh and eat with some of the people that mean the most to me. I got the Vera Bradley travel organizer that I've been dying for. Perfect for the upcoming Brazil trip!!! A Vera wallet and some Brighton earrings. What else could a girl ask for?

Saturday, after spending the morning with Jen at District competitions for Drama, Joy and I went to Orlando. We ate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory--Yummy!!! Then we sang out hearts out for 2 hours with John Mayer. It was the show I had hoped for. Simple, unassuming, yet entertaining. It is a memory that we will always have.

Tomorrow, my little brother turns 13. We're going to Moe's this afternoon to celebrate. And I have to go buy his present. Shhh...our little secret! :-)

Christmas

This has taken a while to get posted...December has been such a busy month. Hopefully I will be able to get pics up soon...

The month started out with a trip to Orlando to the Gaylord Palms' ICE! exhibit for Ronnie and Ann's birthdays. It's a frigid 9 degrees inside with over 2 tons of ice to make the exhibit the beauty that it is. It was great to be able to spend a night with old friends and new, and make memories together.

Then, I got sick. A nasty head cold had me down for about a week and a half. I spent the 3 nights at work nursing not only my concerned patients, but also mug-fulls of Thera-flu! A dear man that I was taking care of that week kept urging me to go home, becuase as he put it, "I'm just worried about ya, babe".

The following week we had our annual Christmas party with the whole gang together. It was a blast having the regift gift exchange. I came home with some of Raegan's old bath salts!!

The next week I, along with the rest of the world was busy preparing for Christmas. I worked, shopped and tried to find ways to be with those that I love the most. Work was intersting...Kent transfered to the ICU. It's weird working with your little brother. Then, I got shocked by a patient's pacemaker. Oh, the things they don't tell you in school... That's a completely different blog! :-)

Christmas Eve Eve was at home. I made lasagna dinner for all my friends and everyone came over to exchange gifts. It was so lovely to have the core of my friends together in one room during the holdiays. Later that evening, Brie Poole and Scott Inmon became engaged...congratulations!!!

Christmas Eve we went to my Aunt's house, as we do every year, for dinner. Kent and I were up with Santa while we worked... Christmas was awesome, just like always. I got the Vera Bradley bag I've been eyeing for a while and a gorgeaus Brighton necklace. Debbie got me a gift certificate to get my feet done...yum!!

The New Year is right around the corner, and I'm once again amazed at what God has done this year...

Warmest Holiday Wishes to everyone...

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I was going to do this yesterday, but, alas, I ran out of time...

I am thankful for so many things, that it is difficult to know where to start I am thankful for my salvation and for my God. Without Him, I truly do not know where I would be. I would be lost and cold and alone in the world. Hallelujah that His mercies are never ending!!

My family, who is my everything. My parents who protect me and love me (even though I haven't lived with them for nearly a year!!) through the hard times and the good times. Thanks Mom and Dale!! My brothers and sisters for keeping life interesting. Never a dull moment at our house when we're all together. We've had so many new memories this year, that I will treasure forever. My boys, Josiah and Jordan, for reminding me that it's the simple things that matter in life-- reading a book on the bed. Feeding a baby a bottle and having them look in your eyes. I melt everytime I hold them!!

My friends...for everything! Teaching me to grow outside of myself and inspite of myself. For stretching me to limits that I didn't know existed. For showing me what life really is supposed to be like.

It is so easy to take these things for granted this time year. I was talking to a doctor here at work tonight and he was telling us how he is single, and does't have any family and is new to the area, so he spent Thanksgiving here at work. I realized how fortunate I am to have the life that I do. This is something that I want to avoid--taking all of these things for granted.

I went to my grandparent's house for dinner--it was scrumptous!!! Nothing was processed and EVERYTING was homemade. No TV dinners or prepackaged food to be found. Quite the treat for the single gal living off of TV dinners, Taco Bell and the occassional left over at mom's house! The weather has been gorgeaus--it's definetly autumn in Florida for once.

The radio station's are playing Christmas Carols on the late night shows. The stores have the Christmas displays up and perfected and they're gleaming in the lights. My other favorite time of the year is being heralded in... Christmas is in the air.

WaHoo!!

It's official...I'm going to Brazil in March!!! Yesterday, I paid for the ticket (over $1000--yikes!!). Today, I applied for my passport. It should be in by the first week of January... I'm so excited! I can't wait. I can't wait to impact the lives of people in a country who aren't as fortunate as we are to live here in the United States. I can't wait to use my education for the greater need and to get outside of my comfort zone. It should be very interesting!

More to come tomorrow!!

Itchy

So, about a month ago I had this rash on my belly. I thought no big deal... I'll just stay out of the pool for a while (too much chlorine). Then, it wasn't going away!! So, I switched laundry detergent, body wash, perfumes, bought new pajamas.

Still the itching welps continued to pop up. But, why would anyone want to go to the doctor. That just makes too much sense. I'll deal with it on my own!

About a week and a half ago I'd had enough! I couldn't get in with my regular doctor, so I went to a clinic down the road from my house. The PA who is about 2 weeks out of school walks in with the med student and after discussing what kind of possibl pseudomonis type infections it could be, decided that I, the goofy nurse who can't sleep, have a fungus. Gross, but something that can be dealt with. So, I walked out of there with my prescription for Diflucan and went on my merry way.

Said antifungal didn't work!! 2 days later I'm itcing again! I walk down the hallways using any hard surface I can to scratch my back. I'm constantly itching my legs. So, out of shear desperation, I go to my regular doctor. I explain the whole situation to him and he takes a look at these itchy little devils of welps on my legs...I have an arthropod. Think scabies, bed bugs, etc. DISGUSTING!!!!!! I am thoroughly creeped out right now.

The worst part is, I don't even know where this came from! Some patient at work probably passed along their lovely little buggers to me inflicting 2 months worth of pain and agony on me. So, I'm going out to buy new sheets and wash all of my clothes in hot water to get rid of these little parasites and lather my whole body in a cream. Quote of the week... "I don't do anything weird, but the people I take care of do!"

Golly, I love my job! :-{

Whew

I can't believe it's been a month sine I posted on here!!! So much is going on, and yet nothing at all. Last weekend I spent the weekend with mom. She bought a craddle for the new baby and we stained it blue--which didn't really take. Instead, it looks like a really, really deep mahogany. I think I like it better that anyways.... ;-) In the middle of staining I was helping Jen get ready for homecoming. It's so weird that this is her senior year. I remember when she started kindergarten in Dublin, Georgia. She wore black jean shorts and the vests that were all the rage. We matched. Now, we never match, but borrow each other's clothes and she is about to graduate from high school. As soon as she gives me my camera back, I'll post pictures...

Andrea's surprise baby shower is this weekend...mom and I made her a mattress to go with the craddle that we re-finished and we bought a bedding set and made curtains for the boys' room to decorate it as a gift. I bought her a new diaper bag filled with goodies for the winter.

Work has been chaotic. Yet another reminder of the quickly approaching winter. I've been working 4 days (48) hours a week in an attempt to get the money together to go to Brazil next March!!! It's nearly official--just waiting for the time off to be approved.

Michael's football team is doing great!! They think they will be going to the "Super Bowl". Only a few more weeks left in the football season. A few months off, then we start driving in the opposite direction toward Dunnellon for baseball season.

More to come later!!

The Waxing Fall

So, fall is nearly officially here. Gone are the dog days of summer consisting of lazing by the pool at least once a week, dark tan lines on my toes, wearing bathing suits to all 3 meals, and basking in the hot, muggy Florida sun.

Instead, cool, brisk breezes are beginning to blow through providing relief to all those days that I complained about it being too hot. I get to dust off the Gap finds that sitting in my closet since about July just waiting to be worn. The tiki torches and grill-outs on the back porches are coming back. This year, a fire pit will be added to the ambience. I love this time of year! It reminds me of the fall festivals at church; the Possum Hollow and Million Pines arts and crafts festivals that my parents used to drag us to every year growing up in Georgia.

There is an axious expectation in the air this year. Chris and Drea's baby is due in about 8 weeks. Josiah is practicing what to say to the new baby brother (Ssshhh...it's okay baby). We're also rehearsing the moon songs, especially for nights like tonight-when the harvest moon is bright and iridescent and gorgeous.

I have a feeling great things are in store for this fall...I feel it in the wind.

yeah!!!

So... about 2 months ago or so, I read a blog that I had written to my mom. She said that, in here opinion it was really, really good. And that she thought I should write for the e-devotion team at church. So, after about a week or so, I got the courage up actually get the ball rolling and figure out what I needed to do... Well, I got an e-mail today from Joe LaCognata, one of the associate pastors at church today, and I am now officially a member of the e-devotion team!!! Yeah!!!

So much other stuff has happened, this month, and this is kinda out of order, but I promise that I will post in all as soon as I can... Much love to everyone...

Changes

Some of the latest posts have been my journals. I hope that ya'll have enjoyed reading them. This is the last of the 3 that I wanted to post. Hopefully, I'll be able to give you more details later this week... Beth

Psalm 9:10
Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy. But, when times are bad, consider God has made one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

I recently read an article on www.radiantmag.com about Joy Williams, a popular and relevant recording artist in the pop Christian music arena. Joy has been successful in many ways; professionally, personally, and in her walk with God. And yet, she describes how she feels that God is calling her to leave the comforts of a solo career, something she's been pursuing for several years now, and pursue something else. Her question is what next?

My sister's friends are leaving for colleges around the state. She is faced with one of the first real coming-of-age dilemmas, what next?

Two ministries that I have been involved with are moving the nights that they meet, making it nearly impossible for me to participate in them. My question is... what next?

My mother has always told my sister and me, and now our brother, that life is all about changes: changes in friends, class-mates, and teachers. For us, where we lived; what church we attended; what state we lived in changed frequently, but I am a home-body. I love routine and enjoy knowing that the routine from last week will basically be the same next week. Change is hard for me, but I'm learning more and more as I get older that change is constant. I can't control very many things. I can't control the fact that Ruby Tuesday's took the mashed cauliflower off the menu. I can't control the fact that my friends and I are having a difficult time hanging out because they are getting married, or seriously dating. My sister can't control that her friends are leaving. She can't necessarily control that she too will be leaving in a few years to go to college. Joy Williams can't control those desires and stirrings that God has instilled in her for the future.

What we can change is how we respond to the changes God brings to us. This, for me, is the hard part. Instead of lamenting over how hard it's all going to be, how the world is out to get us, and nobody understands us, we can change our outlooks, God gives us the bad days and the good days; He created them both. As difficult as it may seem, they are both gifts from Him. One of my favorite verses is John 3:17-- God didn’t come to the world, to condemn it, but to save it!! He wouldn't do anything to hurt us or to make us unnecessarily miserable.

We, as Christ followers can take comfort in knowing that if we continue to seek Him, even in the hard times, that we will continue to find Him. Whether that is in a new ministry, a new town, or even in a new venture, these are our rewards! Riches beyond anything we can ever imagine—a closer, more personal walk with our Savior.

Rock-em-Sock-em Robots

So, I'm a nurse. I enjoy what I do. I work long hours- at night- give everything I have to my patients while I'm at work, but attempt to forget them as soon as I walk out the door (for my psychiatric health), and then do the same thing all over again the next week. Well, I had a patient this week that I won't forget for a while. Neither will the workerman's comp people.

This gentleman had surgery about a week ago. He hadn't slept since then. The problem was that he hasn't REALLY slept for any amount of time for about a year and a half, according to his daughter. Being the wholistic healthcare provider that I am, decided my goal for Sunday night was to get this guy to sleep the night through if it killed me. I gave him a medicine that should have helped him sleep alot, since I couldn't give him the pain medicine (it was making him confused).

Instead, a half an hour later, he swearing at me, cursing me, trying to get out of bed with all the paraphanalia still attached to him, and just being beligerent. That one bit me in the booty. So, I call the doctor. She gives me yet another medicine to get him to calm down enough to let the first on take some kind of effect. It didn't work either.

So, I get the doctor on the phone again, get the guy up the chair in the meantime. Well, he's tall- about 6'3"- towering over me!! While we're (me and about 3 other nurses plus the male nurse intern)moving him, he tries to shove me down. He was trying hard, too!! So, we set him down in the chair, are tying the restraints back on when the doctor calls back. I'm attempting to talk to her, make sure he doesn't try to get up, and not dislodge his catheter all at the same time-- something I normally do.

I'm describing this man's mood and agitation level to her "he is becoming increasingly agitated, combative (note: he's aiming at something), and beligerent..." pow!!! He punched me right in the jaw where the phone was up against my face! I couldn't think of anything except for a loud, probably exaggerated gasp!! The doctor heard the commotion, and gave me something that finally worked... thank goodness!!

All I could think of was that game that my brothers and sister got for Christmas when they were younger-- Rock-em-Sock-em Robots. That was the motion he took as he swung at me. I spent about a half an hour in our emergency room getting checked out. Then another hour or so the next morning filling out workman's comp paperwork (again), and taking the obligatory drug testing.

I wonder if I was the red robot or the blue?

Captivating

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all you heart”—Jeremiah 29:13
Hosea chapters 1 and 2

I am currently reading a book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. It is a book that affirms to us women, that we are, indeed, the spitting image of God. We hold in our hearts traits that are in His heart. We long to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure, and to have our beauty unveiled by a great man. We are relational to our very cores. We, as women, desire to be discovered; the way a new haunt is discovered, the way a book is discovered—carefully and over time. This is probably why men say we are a mystery. I am learning so much about myself, my friends and my God!

What I already knew (and have known for a while), is that I long with my entire heart to be pursued by a godly man someone who fears God with his entire heart; a man that I will be able to go into ministry with, a man who loves me with all of his might—but whose love for me will never eclipse his love for our Maker. I have been hoping and dreaming of this boy/guy/man since I was a girl. (My first crushes as an adolescent held many of the superficial qualities that I would seek.) As I am getting older, my friends are getting married and settling down. I have used their relationships as guide posts for what my future mate would look like, persistent, strong, unwavering, patient, etcetera. I want him to pursue me the way Hosea pursued Gomer, relentlessly and with God’s blessings.

What I learned the other day in Captivating, is that the Trinity is a mystery, in much the same way that we women are a mystery. God desires to be known and appreciated with a deeper level of wonderment. He longs and desires for me to pursue after Him in the same way that I long and desire to be pursued by a man. I have to take the time, and energy, and the risk of getting to know Him better. It has to be purposeful. Something that is intentional; much in the same way that you take the time to get to know a date, a family member, or even a friend. Hosea took the time and risk to pursue Gomer. My dad took the time and risk to purse my mom. Some of my friends are in the midst of this adventure now. Why, then, is it such a foreign concept for me to pursue God? To search for His heart? To allow Him to unveil the qualities that lie beneath the surface of my heart?

Take the risk with me—and let’s see what this wonderful journey will reveal to us.

Late Summer in Florida

Last weekend was the quintessential weekend for the waning days of summer in Florida. It started on Thursday when Joy and I met for our weekly date-- lunch at Moe's and a matinee. Friday was busy--oil change, running errands with Chelle for lunch, then the eye doctor. All those times I told my mom I was going blind, I wasn't that far off-- I have an astigmatism and apparently had ambliopia as a child,but we never caught it. Then, ONE! that night and splitting time between Brie and the boys at Zaxby's and Joy and Jason along with the girls at Ruby Tuesdays.

Saturday, I got up at an unbelievably early hour to go tubing down the Ichutuknee River. We tubed it twice-- the good news- nobody got burned. The bad- I still can't move my upper body the way I should be able to. :-) Apparently there should be different sized tubes for different sized torsos. I require an extra small. So, once again I alone made the trip memorable for the near misses between me and the logs, and the tubes. We picniced in the parking lot and took mini-naps in the tubes--FUN!! That night we all grilled steaks at Joy's and ate till we were completely stuffed.

Sunday I slept in --a little bit (yeah!). Then, we went swimming with Siah in the pool. It was hot and muggy and wonderful! It reminded me of why I love Florida so much, and why I live here!! I was and am contented and happy. Today, school started back. Jen is a senior, Michael is in the 7th grade. I feel old, but at the same time I'm as happy as a kid!

Wednesday the girls are coming over for Girl's Night, and I'm cooking dinner-- Spaghetti and salads and bread. Hope this weekend is just as much fun!

Waiting

I feel like I've been waiting my whole life. I waited with eager anticiptation to start school. To be able to grasp the English language and to command it the way my mom did when I was a kid. I waited to start wearing make-up. My friends had started in the 5th grade. Sharing mascara and blush and eye shadow application tips over the lunch table. I wante so badly to join in, but because my mom taught in the same school, everything I did was under scrutiny. I rejoiced on Christmas day in the 7th grade when I got my first set of make-up. I waited to get my driver's license- I had to wait until I was almost 17 because we had moved from Mississippi to Florida. To graduate from college with my nursing degree;to get my first apartement.

Now... I'm waiting yet again. Waiting to meet the love of my life. That man who God has created to complement me perfectly. With whom I will spend the rest of my life. As my friends begin settling down one-by-one around me, I am becoming acutely more aware of this. It's no longer "just the girls". Now, there are husbans, boyfriends, familial obligations, and balancing acts addedt to the mix. I have standing appointments on Thursdays and Fridays to see two of my closest friends-- this is the only it can be managed.

While I'm sad that everyone else's lives are moving on, and I feel like I'm in that famliar "wait and see" holding pattern, I'm trying with all of my might to hold onto the truths that I know are from God-- Jeremiah 28:11; Isiah 30:11; Proverbs 3;5&6. These are all that will sustain me.

What a Weekend!!

I've had a busy last several days. It started on Thursday when I took my parents to the airport to fly to Kansas City, Missouri. Then, on Friday Raegan and I took Joy and her mom, Janna to the airport to fly to Brazil for a medical missions trip. Everything went alright until I being the dork that I am took 275 south instead of north. So, we took a brief detour to the Gulfcoast beaches. ;) But, after a yummy hot meal at Bob Evans, we got straightened out and home in time to make it to ONE!...

Saturday was a trip to Busch Gardens. We got there and it was the typical disgustingly hot, humid Florida afternoon. It wasn't long afterward, that the heavens opened up and we got rained out. We only got to ride one roller coaster. :( The good thing... we got rain tickets for later on this year. Then came, the next adventure. Trying to make it to the Dish from Busch. We got very, very lost in downtown Tampa. Afternoon passing Nebraska Avenue at least 3 times, and about an hour of driving around, we found YBor City and, alas dinner. Then a movie and Starbucks, the savior of nearly every trip, and we headed home. It was a great way to hang out with old friends and new friends and we now have the memory of "that one time when we went to the Dish and Brie and Beth thought that they knew where they were going, but instead we got really, REALLY lost!!"

What a Weekend!!

I've had a busy last several days. It started on Thursday when I took my parents to the airport to fly to Kansas City, Missouri. Then, on Friday Raegan and I took Joy and her mom, Janna to the airport to fly to Brazil for a medical missions trip. Everything went alright until I being the dork that I am took 275 south instead of north. So, we took a brief detour to the Gulfcoast beaches. ;) But, after a yummy hot meal at Bob Evans, we got straightened out and home in time to make it to ONE!...

Saturday was a trip to Busch Gardens. We got there and it was the typical disgustingly hot, humid Florida afternoon. It wasn't long afterward, that the heavens opened up and we got rained out. We only got to ride one roller coaster. :( The good thing... we got rain tickets for later on this year. Then came, the next adventure. Trying to make it to the Dish from Busch. We got very, very lost in downtown Tampa. Afternoon passing Nebraska Avenue at least 3 times, and about an hour of driving around, we found YBor City and, alas dinner. Then a movie and Starbucks, the savior of nearly every trip, and we headed home. It was a great way to hang out with old friends and new friends and we now have the memory of "that one time when we went to the Dish and Brie and Beth thought that they knew where they were going, but instead we got really, REALLY lost!!"

Scenes from the Summer

Me and Jen in also heading for the pool!! It's the place to be!!
Josiah headin' for the pool!!!
Michael @ 88.3's Family Friendly Fourth Celebration
"The Wedding of the Year"--Michelle and Peter Steinmetz 7/1/06
Michelle's Wedding Shower 6/24/06
My first 4th of July Cake!!!

Opinions

My friends Michelle and Peter got married this past weekend. Michelle and her mom and us girls have spent the last 5 months planning this event. They are the first of our group to get married. While I knew there were so many details to decide on, and to logisticaly plan ( who buys the cake server, how do the bridesmaids get to the church?, what to do when 3 of the groomsmen can't come to the rehearsal), I didn't neccessarily think of all of them. We all thought of them simultaneously at about 4:00 on Friday mere hours before the rehearsal.

As a little girl, I had grand elusions of the huge church wedding. My dad walking me down the aisle, my 15 closest girlfriends standing with me and apporximately 300 or so guests watching as marched down the aisle in my Vera Wang wedding dress to Cannon in D flat. We would then be whisked away to a reception that would make Martha Stewart blush.

Reality has now set in. Not only is this completely unrealistic for this chick-- nursing doesn't pay that well-- but, this isn't at all what I want. I want a wedding that is indicative of me and my personality and my future husband. I am learning more and more that it is about the marriage that comes afterward and that is symbolized in the wedding, than it is about the hour d'ourves that are served or the color of the bridesmaid dresses. It is all icing on the cake (pardon the pun).

Another friend of mine is very close to getting engaged. She called me at work tonight in tears about something that had happened in her relationship. It was so weird that she would call me to discuss relationship advice. I'm the last person that people should be coming too. But she did. I walked away from the conversation strangely happy that for this season of my life I am single. I have no real obligations to fulfill. No one to clear plans through, no one's opinion that means more than mine. I am acutely aware of the advantages of being single. It is a good thing.

So, if you get a note from me mentioning St. Thomas you'll know that I am either going on vacation, or eloping. And you'll know why

Growing Up

Ephesians 4:14-16

One of my best friends is getting married this weekend. We have been planning for this wedding for 5 months now. Another friend of mine is about to have her first child. My sister is pregnant with her second child-- a little boy they will name Raydon. I have been out of high school for 5 quick years, and out of nursing school for 2 even quicker years. It hit me a few months ago that I'm not a kid anymore. I can no longer use that excuse. I am watching my nephew grow up. Watching make the mistakes that we all make as kids-- drinking too much water in the swimming pool. Wiping a chocolate mouth on Mama's couch. And the list continues.There are only a few things that you have to do once and you won't do them again. But, what is the most frustrating for me is that I am seeing in myself making the same mistakes, and attempting to learn the same lessons that I was attempting to learn a couple of years ago.

In the passage before this, Paul talks about unity and how we all fit together to form one Body-- the Church. It has been described as an alliteration to the human body as well as braiding together a rope. The individual strands are weak, but put all together, the whole is strong and sure and nearly unstoppable. It can stop a freightliner, hoist metal beams and countless other seemingly impossible tasks. However, the rope is only as strong as it's weakest strand.

Part of our calling as Chirst followers is to continue to grow. To grow in His teachings, in our knowledge of Him, in our Confidence in Him, in being able to discerne between false teachings and those of a sound teacher, those of a schemer and one who has our best interests at heart. If the weakest strand of the rope is thickened and reinforced and strengthened, then the whole rope-- the whole Church-- will benefit.

How do we become strengthened? By engaging in community-- small groups, Sunday School classes, ONE!, groups of friends who are not afraid to tell you how it is. By having cosistent quiet times and prayer times. By spending time with the God that breathed life into us and knit us together in our mother's wombs. It is time to quit being infants and start growing up. Me included.

Callings

Ephesians 4:1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

>Calling-- a profession, a vocation

I am 23, single, I have a profession that I love (I am a nurse in the ICU). By all accounts so far, I am still searching for what God has in store for me next—marriage, the missions, parenthood, etc. I haven’t been feeling challenged lately—instead, I’ve been feeling stagnant, still, shallow. This is not, who I am or who I want to be. I want to be dynamic, changing, and continuously growing deeper in my walk with God, and in my other relationships. Well, ask and you shall receive. I have been challenged two-fold. One is to help with ONE!- to act as a sort of a producer. To come up with a flow and stream of how a Friday night will unfold. I’ve never done anything like this, but I enjoy planning and organizing, so, I think that it will go well. The other was to start blogging my walk more. Dave Scott encouraged me to start with Ephesians 4&5 since they deal with the values that ONE! holds as important.

So, here we are. I read 4:1 and was stopped. “…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” What is my CALLING? Not what profession am I supposed to spend the next 40 or so years receiving a paycheck for, but what is it that God has called me to further His Kingdom with? I have watched countless people my age struggle with this. Should I be a doctor? An art historian? What about an educator? Or a journalist? Do I combine my professional life with my spiritual/personal life and become a missionary to a far off land or a pastor in my hometown? This is a struggle I have been dealing with for the last 2 years or so. Paul challenges us to live a worthy and worthwhile life. But for what? Is this calling personal, or generic? Is it specific to one area of my life? Or is it all encompassing? I have a feeling the answer is D.) all of the above. In fact, I know it is. I don’t have all of the answers, I’m still figuring it all out. But what I do know is this—

I (we) as a Christ-Follower, have a calling that surpasses all others. We have a calling to salvation, holiness, and a faith that He will work out all the details. Even those that we don’t and can’t think of. We are called to accept our eternal inheritance, the fellowship of those around us and the service we were charged with—to lead others to the same ( the Great Commission).

As the Message puts it—“Get out there and walk- better yet, run- on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want to see any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want to see anyone strolling on paths that lead to nowhere.” I just have to start. Do SOMETHING and He will open the doors to the specific direction that He wants me to take. And the direction that I need and want.

Nothing in Particular

I don't really enjoy doing this. I wish that I had something more spectacular to show for the week... I just don't. Work, was well... work. I got gummed-- the old person version of bit. But other than that, pretty uneventful. No wild SUV chases or BBQ sauce fights. Thank goodness! :) We had Fun Night at ONE!! It was, well, fun (duh). Peter attacked and killed a pinata, I got acosted by static electricity and Jason. We met lots of new people, and connected better with the one's we didn't know so well. Tonight was the meeting of the single gals club. We are official now. We went to Olive Garden and Starbuck's and just hung out. This is what being in your 20's is suppossed to be about.

I am looking for a new devotinal/ Bible Study. I need something to REALLY challenge me. It's far past time that I got back into the groove again.

It's summertime. We have plans to go to the beach next Friday. Everyone is wearing their sleeveless shirts, and opening the sunroofs. And the first storm of the 2006 Hurricane Season is about to be bearing down on Florida. Accoriding to the NOAA website, it should hit somewhere between south of Tampa and east of the panahandle. That really narrows it down, huh? :) Glad my laundry is done now.

The family is gone on vacation. Without me. It's weird to not be with them. I've missed one other year, and that was because or work. Sometimes, being an adult isn't all its cracked up to be. But, then, other times, it's far better...

Mr. Darcy and Lizzy

Normally, on Friday Nights, ONE! meets. And it's great because we get to see the whole huge group and meet new people and just hang out. Brian and Jimmy lead worship and we learn something... I usually learn alot. Then, we all go out to eat and get ridiculously full and deplete our banking accounts just a bit more.

Not this week though. This week was Pride and Prejudice week. About 6 months ago Chelle and I bought Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice-- the A&E version. Well, due to us going to Snowbirds, her getting engaged, then married, and other commitments that all of that entailed for both of us, we haven't been able to watch it. So, this week we decided this Friday night, we would have a girl week. Chelle came over and we cooked chicken with olive oil and abando and made salads. We drank iced tea and watched as Mr. Darcy and Lizzy duked it out verbally. We laughed at the melodrama of the whole thing. Joy came over after work (in her pajamas) and fell asleep on the floor. We talked about wedding plans and did we do best-- just being. It was the best Friday we've had in a while. Can't wait until next month when we get to do it again!

Confesstions of a TwentySomething Klutz

It is Friday night, about 1:00. I have a craving for ice cream. I go to Wal-Mart (where else at that time in the morning?!) and am parusing down the frozen food section and find the Edy's Slow Churned ice cream... Girls Scout Samoa Cookie Ice Cream, to be exact. Then, the idea hits me. I want chocolate syrup to go with it. Well, where do they keep the Hershey's syrup? On the aisle with the ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce and industrial sized mayonnaise. Why?, I'm really not sure, but they do.

So, I'm leaning toward the left side, trying to make sure that I'm on the right aisle. What I didn't see... you guessed it... KFC Masterpiece BBQ sauce, with Sesame Seeds. Well, I go splat all over the floor. My favorite pair of Roxy sandals, my favorite Old Navy jeans are both covered in chicken dressings. So, I try to get up. It wasn't graceful, it wasn't elegant, it wasn't pretty. It wasn't successful . I go down again. And about 3 or 4 more times, until I finally get frustrated enough to take my shoes off and walk barefooted (GROSS) through Wal-Mart.

I had to make a special trip to my parent's house to wash my jeans and shirt. My sandals are still slippery and my car smells like a mix between General Tso's chicken and the BBQ chicken my dad raised me on. Go stinkin' figure. Who else would that happen to? Only me... just watch out behind those SUV's :)

~Beach Debut Day 2006~
Joy and I at Ormond Beach this week

Beach Debut Day

One of my favorite Days of the year is the first day that I get to spend the day basking in the Florida sunshine, listening to the crash of the tide on the everchanging beach line. The gulls are sweeping over head, and occassionally, if you are lucky and very observant, you can see the dolphins just below the horizon. These days always bring back so many memories.

My mom has this picture of my dad and me. I was 2 and he was 26 or 27 and we were both seeing the Atlantic ocean for the first time. When Jennifer was 6 weeks old we took her to the beach. She got so burned she looked more a tomato with hair than an infant. The last time we went to the beach as a family. Dad let us rent boogey boards and we laughed and had so much fun. The next summer we went to the Jersey shore and got more burned than I ever have in my entire life!! It was exciting to see somewhere different. In 2003 we drove from Florida to Texas to see Dale's sister and brother-in-law who live in Dallas. Along the way we stopped in Biloxi and took a ferry out to the barrier islands. That island, as I understand it is now completely underwater due to the effects of Hurrican Katrina. In 2005, Joy and Michelle and I went to Los Angeles and we stuck our toes into the Pacific Ocean. It was COLD!!!! I hope to return.

Happy Beach Debut Day Everyone!!!

Roadrunner and Sweet Tea

When I moved into my nifty little one bedroom apartement at the end of December, I decided that I didn't have the money to afford the internet... I still don't but thanks to PATIENCE, and some detective work, I found out that my cable company is having a special... $14.99 a month for a year. What a steal!!! So I called and reluctantly agreed to have them come out today, Wednesday mornign between 8 and 11, knowing the fatigue that I would probably be suffering from. But what's a few hours, right? Well, I slept right through the appointment. Typical. So, I called the lovely people at Brighthouse to figure out when we would be able to reschedule. They ever so politely told me that they could add me on at the end of the day and the service guy would be there sometime between now (11:30) and 8:00 this evening. Very well, there goes another day of the gym. So,9 hours a VERY cleaned apartement, a pitcher of sweet tea, half of a Jodi Piccoult book, Oprah, Dr. Phil (the primetime version), and PATIENCE. I still do not have the internet. Did I mention PATIENCE? I have been promised that the nice little service guy will be here on Friday morning between 8:00 and 11:00 to install my Roadrunner service. Goodness, I hope I can stay awake this time...

For Heather

Oh, so much has happened since I last took the time to sit down and post. The apartement is going fabulously well. I, along with my parents painted my living room. The dark jewel tones are all coming together nicely and I had yet another realization that I am officially an adult as I parused down the aisle at Target where they house all of the placemats and napkins proclaiming that "those won't do... they don't match the pillows in the living room!!!" A few weeks after that I had my own encounters with the unitelligible, as I got ran over by a rather large SUV at work. After six weeks, multiple X-rays, a CT scan, an MRI, a prescription for muscle relaxants, and an eerie identification with my all of my patients, and then a visit to an orthopaedic SURGEON, I found out that I torn a tendon in my left wrist and severly sprained two others on the outside of the same wrist. That is a whole different conversation, that I am only just now able to type. The back pool at Carlton Arms has been my friend lately. Many lazy, hot Florida spring afternoons have been spent there. I am darker now in the beginning of May, than I have been in years!!! Yeah!!! Summer is just beginning at I can't wait until I begin making the trek across the state to Ormond for lazy days in the sand with the sound of the surf just a few feet away from me... not just something I try to reenact in my head. Hopefully these will be coming much more regularly, the cable comes next Wednesday to hook up the internet in my apartement. Happy Thursday, everyone!!

Life

This has been a tumultuous week. Things that I knew in my head have been crashing into my heart. I've been dealing with things that have been haunting me in my past. God has been a close companion. Along with my friends who have never left me, the old standby of Ossie (Oswald Chambers), and Paul. Specifically Romans 8. The take away...

We have an obligation to Christ to strive to be more like Him. We have an obligation to the Holy Spirit to do as He prods us to do. I have an obligation to God to worship Him, and honor him, and as Dave challenged us to do last weekend- make worshipping Him a lifestyle. God has given me desires and hopes and dreams. These are from Him. This cannot be denied. The desire to have a husband, and kids, and to be used in ministry with my future family was created from God, and so, I believe that He will honor it. However, as Paul says in Romans 8:17, Creation is frustrated. It is frustrated with the mundane life, the ebb and flow that is never ending. My frustration that these things aren't happening are normal. It is what I do with them that is the deciding factor. If I choose to allow God to be glorified through them and at this time in my life and if I allow Him to do what he wants to do-- be my sufficiency-- then His will, will be accomplished. The frustrations that I encounter here on earth are mere hills in the path compared to what glories await me in Heaven. I choose to strive to be more like Christ.

The wise old Ossie said this week that we have to take the times of darkness and embrace them as times to listen. I am in a time of weakness with Overflow. I don't know what my niche is in Overflow. Where exactly it is that I fit in this ministry that means so much to me and is on the brink of something phenomaly huge. This is my time to be quite and allow God to talk to me and for me to listen.This isn't the time for reading countless books and taking council from countless people-- although these are good activities. Instead, as David said in Psalm- Be still and KNOW that I am God. BE STILL. And listen, and He will reveal who He is. Not what He is going to do.

What I've been learning

My two friends are dating, well actually engaged. Yeah!! I'm so happy for them. I'm also happy for my other friends who are also engaged/about to be engaged/seriously dating. I truly and genuinly am. But, it's hard , because I want this as well. I want to be as happy and as excited and as settled as they are. It's weird though, because not only are their lives about to change, but so is mine. Never again will there be just the girls. We won't be able to go to the bathroom at Joy and Raegan and Chelle's with the door open and not think about. Kostos is coming into the group and I'm not Lena. I think I'm Tibby...(different story). Anyways here is what I'm learning in the midst of all of this.

I want to have a relationship with a man like that of my friends. That is God inspired and God created--He made me this way. It's okay. The part I sometimes miss is that it is on His timing and not mine. That the man I want to marry will love me with every fiber in his being. He will look at me with the intensity that Peter looks at Michelle, but with the duration of my parents and grandparents. But, more importantly, this man, whomever he is, will love God a million times more than he could ever dream of loving me. I'm working on loving Him a million times more than I could ever love my future husband.

God is working on me. He has made me humble in the last eight weeks or so in certain areas. I'm learning to not take my littel "gang" for granted like I did before. I'm learning that even friendships that are far away are precious and need to be cultivated. He is also humbling me on this topic. He is teaching me to trust Him with everything, and I emphasize everything. This is the biggest area that is the hardest. By trusting God with this, I am surrendering so many things to Him, things that I would sometimes prefer to keep to myself.

Lessons

Okay, it' s been a while since I've done this, and a lot has happened. So....everyone put on their seatbelts.

I moved into my apartement over Christmas (Merry early Christmas to me!). But, I don't have internet and spotty at best cell service, so it's a challenge to get a hold of people sometimes. All of the boxes are removed adn I actually have flowers sitting in my living room, yeah!!, and the biggest shocker is that I've actually been cooking! Should last for a good long while.

The ICU is going great! I'm on my own and feeling more and more confident every night. I've learned more the past few months than I have in a long time. More classes are coming up all of the time.

Can't wait for Snowbirds!! Only 11 days left!!! I've got to order some jeans... Perfect timing on that one, only a day after my birthday.

So, send your recipes, I need the practice, and I love you all!!

Boxes

I'm packing. I have been for the last week. I'm getting tired of it. A few weeks ago Jen and I cleaned out the drawers and the closet and under the beds, so I thought that I had gotten rid of a lot of stuff. I was mistaken. I've already filled 6 banana boxes (one and a half with cds), 4 large plastic bins (two with just books) and have barely finished my bedroom. I still have the bathroom, closet, and stuff people have given or are going to give me to pack still. Blech. And in the middle, I have to work. The reward will be well worth the hard work now, though.

Dale took mom and Jen and I to see the Rockettes tonight at the Bob Carr performing Arts Center. It was phenomanal!! My favorite was the toy soldier act that is so famous the world over. But at the end was the best part...they told the story of Christ's Birth. Complete with camels and sheep. In a day and age where so many people are leaving Christmas out of the season and turning their backs on the people that are hurting the most, it's heartwarming to see the few that are doing what we were commissioned to do. Go out and spread the gospel to everyone. If you can, go and see it before the end of the year.

Full

I am full. Not in the physical manner of eating too much when my family or friends gets togher, but in my soul. I move in to my apartement in a week. I am busily packing all of my childhood memories into boxes again and deciding which of them will be displayed in the space that is soon to be solely mine. I am so excited and so blessed to have people around me that are so willing and wanting to help me in this transitions. Work, while tough in many ways, is going well. I love being able to make such an impact on my patients, and knowing that I somehow touched them.

My siblings are doing well. Drea is pregnant (again!); Kent starts nursing school next month; Jen is busy acting and being a high school student; Mikey boy is growing up. He asked me to wrap a present for a girl that he likes, but asked me to not tell mom. :) I just smiled and remembered the hundreds of times that he and I watched Star Wars and Close Encounters of the the Third "Kite". Josiah is growing and is the apple of my eye. He makes everyone feel all warm and fuzzy when he gives kisses and hugs and sings "LaLa"-- Matthew West's "Thirteen".

My friends couldn't be better. It's been a busy year--Meredith got married, Heather is engaged! I found Jeanne again, and grew closer to my friends at Overflow. We have exploded over the last year! We went from being just 12 of us hanging out on Dave and Rebecca's back porch to about 50 or so getting together every other week and seeing God's hand working in our generation. This is how the church is supposed to look.

God has been teaching me so many lessons. To be content with what I have. To find out who I am before I try to start dragging other people in. To be gracious, because He has been gracious to me. That in spite of my apparent lack of an interesting story, I do have a fantastic story, because God was ther for every step. Discipline isn't as hard to get as I thought it was.

The only thing lacking is the friends that are far away. I wish that ya'll could be here to share--I want so desperately to hear your stories and to laugh and cry with you. I promise that I will do better at updating from now on... ;) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Ya'll!!

Thankfullness

What I'm Thankful For: (In no particular order)

My family Cold Winter Night
Old Friends Hot Summer Days
New Friends My Church
My job Overflow
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice cream Books
Candles People that challenge Me
Target Beth Moore
My new apartement The guys fighting for my Liberty
Love of those who love me The Pilgrims
Freedom My Salvation
America and my opportunity to bless it My Heavenly Father
Opportunity to be a Blessing to God The written word
Fresh Strawberries Louie Giglio
Music to soothe my soul at the end of a The Challenges that God brings my way
very bad day The Resolution of those challenges and Caramel Apple Cider the results that I learn
My Friends My Family
the things that break my heart My new apartement!!!
Friends getting married Friends having babies
My sister

And much, much more~ things too numerous to list here, but make my heart warm and glow. Things that make me realize that while I'm on this journey that God has put me on, there are things to enjoy that make it pleasant and happy, even though they are temporary. The things I am most thankful for--That God loved me so much that He sent His SON to die for me, and that they are protecting me and watching me and want more from me than I am aware that I am capable of. And that I am blessed more than I could ever imagine because of it.
~Happy Thanksgiving!~

Life...Cnt'd

Good news...I signed on my very own apartement last night!! It's a small one bedroom. About 550 square feet. I move in on December 23. An early Christmas present to myself. But, it will be mine. Mine to do whatever I want. I will be able to decorate it in a uniquely me way. Probably beach or very dark, jewel tones that feel homey and safe and remind me of fall all year long.

I am going to be an aunt...again. I love my Josiah ( I call him Siah), I'm not sure how I could love another little Siah nearly as much. But somehow, I'm sure that the little edition will fit into our family just fine, and just in time for summer trips on the boat and to the beach.

The not so good... there is an all out war between the guys and the girls. The last episode involved triple antibiotic ointment and 5 very unsuspecting girls at 2:30 in the morning. I think we all collectively quit maturing around age 15. Always be on gurard. :0)

My lovely laptop died...the mother board got tired and sick. The blue stallion can't be fixed. :0( However, I do now have a nice, fast desktop that is nearly even more lovely.

Life is good. Busy and occupied and filled with people and experiences that for the most part, I love. Even though there will always be a few that aren't so lovely and fun and painless even they have their places and their puroposes in my life in growing me and making into the person that God wants me to be. This is my focus. In spite of what I may say in joking around. John Piper challenges me to my core.

Jack is playing. He and the Hillsong United cd are my soundtrack to life right now. I think that makes for a pretty good life. ;P

Life

So, it's been a while since I've written here. I've been busy. Orientation in the ICU is going great!!! I love it. I love being able to see the people go from being really sick to getting much better. It's fun with all of the challenges that are presented every shift. Work, is good.

My leg though, is not so good. I scraped it on Kent's weight machine. It drew blood and now it's all red and green and pretty gross for an ICU nurse. :O)

Haven't read any books lately... any suggestions?

I'm still in the hunt for an apartement. I'm on the waiting list at Carlton Arms--just waiting on the phone call. Anyone got any free furniture I can have?

The fun part is that I've been hanging out with the crew--a lot. And the crew is growing. I caught up with my friend Jeanne at Pier 1 over the white coffee mugs that screamed hot chocolate or chicken lo mein, depending on what day it is. It was weird to think that we met in high school and now she and Ashley are married (Ashley is pregnant) and Heather is engaged. We haven't had Wednesday afternoon lunch with Jon and Ryan Dupre in about 3 years. But changes are sometimes good.

Why I Became a Nurse

At the risk of sounding cheesy and not meaning to depress everyone, these are the reasons I became a nurse...to hold the hand of a dying woman as she came to that realization and I along with her doctor had to break the news to her and her husband and daughter. To fan the face of a man who is scared to death of what may come next-surgery or go home. To comfort the families of my patients who in many cases are even more afraid of what is to come. To be more to my patients that I take care of every night than that "ghost" who popped in our 4:00 in the morning to give them their pain medications.

I took care of a patient today whose body is riddled with cancer--in her thyroid, her esophagus, and her liver. She is juandiced and her liver isn't working anymore. Now, she has an infection in her colon and lungs. She is coming around to dealing with this, her family, however, is completely in denial of everything that is going on. He is convinced that she will get out of the bed and breathe on her own and walk away and get chemo thereapy and everything will be peaches and cream. Unfortuanetly, the heartbreaking part of my job is that i had to discuss with her family and her that the treatments we are giving her are basicaly futile- they are doing her no good. Only harming her further. That there is nothing I, or the doctors can give her that will make all of this horrible, awful stuff go away. And even worse, that she won't be physically strong enough to make the trip back to Philadelphia where her family is.

This isn't the part I love. That part was when I was able to just stand there and hold her hand and rub her shoulders and let her cry. To tell her that it's okay to cry and be angry. To be able to tell her, along with her doctor (whom I adore) that there are things that we can do to make her more comfortable. To be so involved with her care and to know that they trust us to inform them of this horrible news.

I love my new job. I love being able to be so involved with their care and knowing so much about them. Anyways, that was my week. I hope ya'll had a good week.

Today was my first day on the ICU. I showed up at 6:30 this morning. I haven't been up that early in I don't know how long. My preceptor is a little bit intense and we had the sickest patient in the unit. This guy is 41 and nearly all of his systems are shutting down. He is on a ventilator and continuous dialysis, and his ex-wife works on the unit. We spent all day working on him, trying to help him get better. Then around 2:00, his family made the decision to let him go. His 15 year old son was able to come up and tell his dad good-bye and be at peace that we had done all that we could do to make him better. His mom and sister and brother were all there to comfort him and hold his hand and not allow him to leave alone. It was a less than ideal situation to walk in on for my first day. As much as I love my job and my career, for the first time I wondered if this is for me. Can I really handle everything that is included with coming to the ICU and having this intense of patients. But then, my patient's ex-wife, a virtual stranger, told me thanks for everything that I did for them. I still can't get his son's eyes out of my head.


Because of this, I want to value my friends and my family even more. I want to take my relationships to the next level. I want to get to know my friends even more than I already do. I don't want to feel so alone during a bad time, that the only outlet I can find is in alcohol. I don't want to be so alone that I lose sight of what is most important to me--my friends, my family, those closest to me. I want everyone to know how important and valuable they are to me. I'll find ways to make it known...

Chapters

This is a day sooner than I thought it would be. Last night was the end of an era. My last night on CSP/IVC. On Monday morning at 7:00, I start on ICU. It was a good era. One that gave me many experiences that I'll never forget. I learned the skills that I need to be a great nurse and to be an effective nurse. I've made friends and co-workers that I'll have forever. I've learned lessons that will be with me until the end of my career. I'm nervous, and anxious, and not really sure what's going to happen or what I'm going to encounter. But, and excited and ready to take the next steps in my career and fulfill a dream that I've had since I was a little girl. More to come on Monday!

Dreams

Grandpa had a stent placed in his heart yesterday. So mom and I spent the day there. It was weird in an out-of-body-experience sort of way. I witnessed what my patients go through every day. The good thing is that he said that he was breathing easier and his chest felt better.
After that, I went and helped Joy finish moving into her first apartement. It was fun. Helping one of my closest friends set up house and put away her new Pier 1 napkins and mugs that match the gorgeaus dishes that her great-grandmother used. We went to Wal-Mart and bought the boring, mundane things that are necessary, and expensive, and yet terribly good looking to me right now.
I want my own place very badly. And yet somehow, I just can't quite seem to get there. I have dreams of blue Fiesta Wear Dishes that match the rug that also match the bedspread (all of which I've already bought) that I desperately want to go into the apartement that has my name on the lease.
Someday, hopefully by my Birthday, I'll be able to sign a lease on an apartement that has my name on the lease. In the meantime, I'm focusing on the little things-buying towels that match my shower curtain. :-)

Makin'BannanaPancakes... and Turkey Meatloaf

Yesterday was the monthly day off for the crew. We drove for an hour to DeLeon Springs to eat bananna pancakes that we made ourselves at the Old Spring Mill restaurant. We put banannas and chocolate chips and blueberries on them and ate bacon and sausage and eggs with them. I had a religious moment over my first taste of caffeine of any kind for nearly 12 hours... after working for 12 hours. Michelle, as always was very good and drank water. Then, we drove back to Spring Glen and stayed there for the afternoon, freezing ourselves to death. Literally. We talked about everything and nothing. We planned for last night, this weekend, and the future in and everything in between. And we listened to Jack. Our friend in every situation.

Then we headed back home and cooked dinner for the boys...Jason and Peter and Justin. We cooked them turkey meatloaf with mozzerella cheese and onions, and parsley; fresh broccoli, beans and rice and fresh french bread. For dessert we made Mandarin delight. It was excellent. We had so much fun just talking and hanging out and getting to know each other better. To show them that women can be "old fashinoned" and cook dinner, and still be smart and witty and independent. It was fun. We are planning to do it again next month.

The anxiety is setting in about going to the unit. I'm scared to death. I'm officially off the schedule for CVU...but not quite on the schedule for ICU. I'm jobless, in a very technical way. :-} It's getting overwhelming to think about the level of responsibility that is going to be on me. The days of shipping off the sick people will be gone...I'll be taking care of the sickest people. There is so much I have to do to get ready. Classes I have to take, books to buy...sigh. But, I'm ready. And I know that my friends and family will be there to help me out along the way. The journey goes on... the journey to Ithaca.

Just Beyond the Horizon

The horizon is here...I interviewed with Mike in the ICU today. I got it!!!! I start in about 2 or 3 weeks depending on what can be negotiated between my floor now and ICU. I can't stop smiling. I had no idea that he would tell me today, before I even left his office. It was just so casual and sort of off the cuff. Just, "Hmm. How does 2 weeks sound to you?" "Works for me. I can get everything done by then". "Beth? How does that sound for you?". And I've got a new home. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Horizon

It's that time again...to look to the horizon. To the things to come, the unknown, the part that I am notorious for attempting to avoid at nearly every cost. This time, however, I'm breaking tradition and breaking out of the box. I'm chasing adventure and the unknown--I'm leaving a very comfortable place. That place is a very good job on a floor that is similiar to a "B" list celebrity, and going to a place, that while it is excellent in its own right, slightly resembles hundreds of thousands like it.

I'm interviewing for a position in the ICU tomorrow morning at 9:00 A.M.! This is somthing that I've wanted for several years now, and have been attempting to acitively pursue. Now it's here. {sigh} I've been praying about this for about week when Joy first told me about the opening. Now, less than a week later, I'm interviewing for the position. It's so fast. I'm trying not to catch my chickens before they hatch, but it's sooo hard. Especially not knowing who the competition is. I need lots of prayer!!

Fall

I am exhausted. I haven't had 8 hours of sleep in one time in I don't know how long. I'm working full time, on a busy floor. It was a horrible week. I had one patient die and another that we almost coded. One guy went balistic on us--yelling and cursing and needing to have a psychological evaluation instead of cardiac nurses that want to see him get better. We've banded together like we've hung in there together before. On top of that, I started back to school last week. I'm finishing my Bachelor's degree. I have assignments an papers due this week that I haven't even started on yet. Someone needs to start looking for that large hole in my head...

What is going miraculously well is how my community has banded together in ways that are unprecedented. The Church at the Springs raised over $17,000 last week for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. We also sent 6 semi-trucks to the region full of supplies-water, food, clothing, shoes, etc. Families, other churches, corporations all sent things to the church for us to send to those in need on their behalves. We are also going to assisst over 100 families that have been displaced to come to our home and resettle here. We are going to mentor them and show them the ropes of the area. The Church, the Bride of Christ, is becoming a light, a city on a hill that is shining bright to all of those around us. We are embodying Paul's dream for the church. We are becoming to our community, town, county, state, country what God wanted the church to be.

I am also learning so much. I am learning through one of my favorite people ever, Beth Moore, that faith isn't only moving and going, but occassionally, it is staying still and letting God move your spirit and waiting until I am more ready to be moved physically. God used Rahab to save His servants. She didn't wait until she had her act cleaned up...she followed now in spite of what others thought of her. I want that faith. I want to be that brave and courageous and full of faith. Because God's Word is Alive and Active in me!!

We're going to cook dinner for the boys this week. I'm excited to be able to spend time with them in this kind of a setting. No pressure, no timeframes, just a chance to hang out and get to know each other better. I'm praying and thinking for Christy and the changes that are going on in her life. And for Joy and the house chnage she's about to make, and for Chelle and her move into her apartment(yeah!), and for Brandon and Amanda and their desires to have a child...that God's will would be done for them. I hope that they all have a wonderful week.

In The Aftermath

My heart aches for the thousands, millions, of people who are homeless, and hurting in the southeast. I've watched for hours the heartbreak, the desperation, the wanting of people just to know what is happening with them. My heart aches for the way of life that will never again be the way it was. The areas I visited two years ago on vacation are desemated and forever changed. What was once an on ramp for I-10 is down a launching ramp for boats on search and rescue missions. The grand homes that represented the grand and regal past of Mississippi's past are dwindled down to nothing more than fire kindling. My very soul aches for the souls that are stuck in hospitals without electricity or running water, and not knowing where there families are. I'm lost for words and emotions for them. They will be in my prayers.

It's Saturday night and the end of a tumultuous week. It's been challenging.
In a couple of incidences, I've had to decide what was important to me.
I've had to be someone I don't really like.
I've had to be broken and hurt by people I don't really like to be hurt by.
I've had to evalaute why I do things.

I dont' really like these weeks, because I don't really like to change and stretch and grow over things like this. I prefer the growth the requires trying new breeds of coffee at Starbuck's, or a new restaurant in town, or going to a friends house without directions for the first time. But, with the help of the ever wise, and insightful Beth Moore, the woman who has the red-direct line to God-woman, this is the only way my faith and my walk will ever grow into the walk I want it to be. Until then, I won't be the person God wants me to be; thus, I won't be the person I want to be.

I feel like I'm in an awarkward situation--the type where the gym teacher expects you to dance with the boy you have a crush on, and you suddenly develop the world's worst case of sweaty palms. The weird part is, I don't know why I feel this way. Hopefully, I'll figure it all out one day. Joy told me today that she is probably going to Brazil in October on a medical missions trip. I'm excited for her--honestly. I just wish that I could go on something like this. I just don't know how to find out about, get in touch with people who know about such things. I've just been feeling so frustrated and anxious lately.

Pray for me. More importantly, pray for my friend, Judy. She found out on Thursday that she has colon cancer. She's had many health scares this year, and is very discouraged. I love ya'll.

Love and Miracles

I'm doing a Beth Moore study with Joy and Michelle--Believing God. She's trying to teach us about faith and trusting God,and Believing Him--not just IN Him. I'm learning alot. Ron says that we should be transparent, so, I'm going to be.

The main part of my walk that I struggle with the most is not having a "significant other" (S.O. as we referred to it nursing school). When I look at my life, it seems as though that is the only thing that is missing. The boy. However, I finished reading Francine Rivers' book Redeeming Love last week and I learned so much from it. I learned that the kind of love and life that I want does exist out there. That is the kind of love that God ordained for us to have and to strive for--a living example of his love for us. Unconditional; forgiving; never-ending; giving, never taking; pure; unassuming; a kind of love that may take a while to surface. If this is what God has wating on me, I just pray that I have the patience to wait for and to not settle for something less than what is in his plan.

The second is miracles. Being in the health care field it is sometimes hard for me to say that something is a "miracle". I tend to be skeptical about it. But, every once in a while something will pop up that makes me wonder and sets me in awe. Praise God for 2 of His most recent miracles. My friends Jon and Brandi Fugate reported last week that an expected mother's child has been healed from multiple brain cysts that were threatening her life. And Heather Hagood's grandmother has been healed again from breast cancer. To steal the line from Heather--He parted the Red Sea again. Praise Him!!

Los Angeles

I finally went on a road trip with my friends. Michelle, Joy, and I went to Los Angeles last week. We flew out of Tampa on Monday the first and spent seven glorious days in sunny, hot, dry southern California. Michelle's sister, Deanna, lives there and she was gracious enough to let 3 crazy girls crash with her for a week. We visited all of the required touristy spots--Mullholland Drive and the Hollywood sighn, Grauman's Chinese Theatre, the Kodak Theatre, and Hollywood Blvd, Beverly Hills and Rodeo Drive, the Santa Monica pier and the 3rd St. Promenade, we hiked in the Westlake area on a trail called Paradise Falls. Just to name a few.

We made bead bracelets for our Beth Moore study and relaxed at the pool reading various books that we have passed between the 3 of us at least once already. We ate off of each other's plates in a way that some may consider grotesquely. We at fabulous restaruants like the Cheesecake Factory and Benni Hanna's and P.F. Changs, and CPK ( California Pizza Kitchen for all of you eastcoasters). We made new friends and rebonded as old friends. People that were acquantainces are now good friends. The proof are the blackmailish pictures of us sleeping at various points on the plane rides.

Chelle put it the best way--we are a crew. Watch out Traveling Pant Girls and Brazil--here we come!!!!

Overflow

I just got back from the Cracker Barrell. Ordinarily, this wouldn't have been that newsworthy of an event. However, I wasn't with ordinary people. I was with the crew from Overflow. The best thing about this group is that no matter what, we laugh. We laugh corporatly, individualy, in small groups. We laugh about ongoing jokes, whatever happened that night, inside jokes about ourselves, we (mostly) laugh at Peter's wild antics and willingness to do anything for a buck. Including singing "I'm a Little Teapot" for all of the patrones in Cracker Barrell. These are the things that are not only forever captured on Joy's digital camera, but in our memories for years to go.

I am vested in this group. It means so much to me. Working in a field that is mainly female dominated, and where most of my co-workers are the same age of my parents or grandparents, being able to hang out with and bond with, and more importantly grow with, a group of people that are my age, and who want to grow in Christ's love is so amazing to me. I feel privileged to know them. I am challenged by them every week and miss them when I'm not able to hang out with them. I look forward to the changes that we are about to embark on. I see it challenging us to be better people than we already are. I committed about a year ago to be dedicated to this group on a hot and muggy late August evening on Dave and Rebecca's back porch. I am renewing this committment sitting here at my computer tonight.

In spite of the changes that we are about embark on at our one year mark, I see our little group growing into something bigger than even we can imagine. I also see us growing closer and bonding over many more $1 dares that involve Peter and random men in restaurants. I love you guys. And I look forward to getting to ya'll better.

Days In and Days Out

It's been an interesting week. I worked 5 of 7 days. They were some of the longest days that I've worked in a while. Lots of very sick people. I called lots of doctors and tried to settle lots of people. It didn't always work so well. But that week is over. As everyone kept telling me...I've worked hard, and learned lots. I guess that that is what it's all about. Being a rookie nurse and all. It's just hard still, trying to deal with all of the dynamics that go into my job. But I think that it's going better.

I learned that I have great friends. Erika and Terry offered me a couch and tables when I move out and Dave and Rebecca offered a double bed. All of this for virtually nothing! I am blessed. I have great Family and great friends. Then, on Friday night, we went to Daytona. Me and mom and Dale and Michael took Josiah to the beach for the very first time. It is always a joy to see things the way kids do for the first time. Just the awesomeness of the expanse and power of the ocean is overhwelming. Let alone from the eyes of a one year old. He is so much fun to be around. He makes me confident tha I want to be a mom one day. One Day. Even though it is summer, the days come and the days go, but at their own pace and rhythm.

Juniper Run

Yesterday, I canoed down Juniper Run with the group from Overflow. Well, Peter and a new girl Amanda canoed I just sat there and tried my hardest not to make us flip over. I felt like a kid in a VERY long and exceptionally dangerous Disney World ride. It would have been in Epcot, not Magic Kingdom.

We started out doing fine. I wasn't getting that wet...just the occassional splash as Peter switched his oar from one side of the boat to the other. Then, things started getting interesting. The river was extremely high, so nearly every tree that normaly you just float on under we had to lie down flat in the boat to navigate under. There were trees jutting up that somehow we kept getting stuck in the middle of them. We were the only boat that kept getting stuck in them.

A little over half way through, we navigating a around and overtop and underneath yet another tree. So Peter trying to be the gentleman he is got out of the canoe and was trying to direct us around it from the outside. So, he did and we were on the other side and the poor guy is doing the best he can to get back into the boat and here comes Raegan and Jayson. As I was trying to form the word "Stop!!" in my mind, they T-Boned us. We swayed from one side(taking on water), so I tried to balance us the other to the other side. Well, apparantely so was Amanda, so we took on even more water. My gut reaction was to go back to the other side. That was the proverbial straw the cut the camel's back, because here we go with me in the middle, Peter half in way, and Amanda just kinda unknowingly swaying us back and forth.

We lost everything. Peter's and Amanda's sandals go floating downstream, but Jimmy caught them. My cooler, Peter's bag with his phone it, and Amanda's shirt we just kinda everywhere. I look up and there is Jayson, just laughing. Laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. Suddenly it was all that I could do. I laughed so hard I couldn't stand up straight. I'm sure this was much to Peter's chagrin,as he and Jon are trying to flip the boat back over. Then, I sorta panicked, because, at 4'11" it's hard to just flip your leg over the wall of a boat that is at 4'10". So, I did it the "hard core way" as Peter put it--just belly flop into the boat and pray hard that you don't flip back the other way.

All in all it was a great day. Joy and Raegan, and Jason, adn I lauged about it for hours at dinner at Sonny's over dinner. The best part is that we bonded. As friends, we made memories that will forever tie us together. I will never forget the Saturday afternoon that Peter and this girl Amanda and I flipped our canoe in the middle of the Juniper Run.

Summertime

I feel lost. Like part of me is missing. My little sister (who just happens to be taller than me) left on Sunday to go to Baltimore. As I sit wrtitting this she is hovering somewhere over us on her way to Singapore where she will arrive sometime tomorrow morning. Jen is on her way to Papua New Guinea with our great aunt Dot. She will be gone for 6 weeks.

I miss her already. It's weird going to bed at night and her not being there. I keep thinking that I'll just pretend she's at camp, but then she'll call us and tell us what a great time she's having. Then I remember that she's not at camp, but on her way to a place on the exact opposite side of the earth.

She will have a wonderful time. She will meet new people and have experiences that will help define her for the rest of her life and she will grow as a person and in her walk with Christ. She will never forget this for the rest of her life. But for me, this marks a milestone. We are officially growing up. I am looking at apartments, she has a passport and is somewhere that I have never been before,and probably never will be.

We are slowly creating our own lives that are not as intertwined as closely as they once were. But I've realized that she means more to me than I ever imagined. She is my sister. We are bound together for better or for worst. But, more importantly, to me, we choose to be bound and I am glad she is having this experience, and I am proud of the person she is becoming.

WooHoo

I am unoffically a student of USF's School of Nursing!!!! I got the letter from the people that process the paperwork with all of the paperwork that has to be filled out. Shot records, do you have insurance, can you be cleared medically? etc. So, the first challenge is to get all of this filled out, sent in, and to blunder my way in to Tampa for orientation the first day I get back from LA. So, I'm just waiting for the Offically, pretty letter that will be framed on my wall.

Lukewarm

We went on vacation this week. We pulled into our front drive at 9:20 pm, and I pulled back out...again at 9:48. Off in search of the perfect pizza to top off a long week of being scrunced in too tight with too many people in a really little place. I have a mild case of sun poisoning on my arms and lower legs, but it'll be okay. I'm a beach bum.

Something struck me hard this week. Harder than the oncoming hurricane season that has already reared its ominous head this year. As I was scrunced and twisted and convorted in a small shower stall in our bathroom that only an infant or small child could fit into and actually shave their legs in without looking like a marionette doll, I was continously fighting with the temerature of the water. At one second it was scaldingly hot. The next millisecond I was shivering because it was much too cold. Standing there stark naked in this microspopic shower stall with my sister banging on the door to "hurry it up!", it hit me...

All this time I've been questioning my Salvation. Am I really saved? Can 4 year olds be saved? or do they have to wait? have I just been playing lip service all of these years. But the answer came to me on a windy night in North Myrtle Beach. I shouldn't be questioning my salvation, but rather the degree of my Christianity. I have been lukewarm for so many days, months, years, that I have forgotten what it means to be on fire, scaldingly hot for God. I've been coasting around, just barely getting by. As much and as passionately as I hate taking lukewarm showers, God hates my lukewarm-ness maginified a million-fold.

I can't seem to get this out of my head. It has continually been coming back to me. I've never experienced some of the things that other Christ-followers say that you have to have to be a "good Christian"...I don't hear God speaking directly to me, I cant' write songs or poems, I'm horrible a journaling everyday, and I have this genetic phobia about sharing things that are private. But, on the way home this afternoon/evening/night (it was an 8 hour trip home), mom told me and assured me as only my mother can, that this is okay. Dad would never talk about his walk, God hasn't left, He know exactly where I am, and that most importantly,and the thing I think gets lost the most along the way...everyone's walk is as different as their salvation story, or their thumbprint, and every other quirk that makes us...us.