What I've been learning

My two friends are dating, well actually engaged. Yeah!! I'm so happy for them. I'm also happy for my other friends who are also engaged/about to be engaged/seriously dating. I truly and genuinly am. But, it's hard , because I want this as well. I want to be as happy and as excited and as settled as they are. It's weird though, because not only are their lives about to change, but so is mine. Never again will there be just the girls. We won't be able to go to the bathroom at Joy and Raegan and Chelle's with the door open and not think about. Kostos is coming into the group and I'm not Lena. I think I'm Tibby...(different story). Anyways here is what I'm learning in the midst of all of this.

I want to have a relationship with a man like that of my friends. That is God inspired and God created--He made me this way. It's okay. The part I sometimes miss is that it is on His timing and not mine. That the man I want to marry will love me with every fiber in his being. He will look at me with the intensity that Peter looks at Michelle, but with the duration of my parents and grandparents. But, more importantly, this man, whomever he is, will love God a million times more than he could ever dream of loving me. I'm working on loving Him a million times more than I could ever love my future husband.

God is working on me. He has made me humble in the last eight weeks or so in certain areas. I'm learning to not take my littel "gang" for granted like I did before. I'm learning that even friendships that are far away are precious and need to be cultivated. He is also humbling me on this topic. He is teaching me to trust Him with everything, and I emphasize everything. This is the biggest area that is the hardest. By trusting God with this, I am surrendering so many things to Him, things that I would sometimes prefer to keep to myself.